Love Scenes
by Orioncat
Summary: You there!I know you are looking for some love scences with EdwardxBella. Don't deny it! Its okay, I won't judge. Some fluffy fun time with the happy couple. After Eclipse,will be writing into Breaking Dawn. Ideas welcomed! In character & in line w/books
1. Patience

_**Okay this series is going to be completely about love scenes…obviously, and from Bella's perspective. I decided to this because I found myself browsing through the books for the "good parts". HeeHee. Anyway, it is literally a look on Edward and Bella getting closer. Now this is just for fun, so I will not be traipsing into Breaking Dawn material. This is the evolution of a relationship, not Twilight series speculation. So with that said, enjoy the first fluffy chapter. **_

I lay still in my bed under Edward, his head on my chest listening to my heart. I could feel his body pressed against mine, but his weight was not on me. This of course was a nice gesture but at the same time frustrating. I wanted him to relax, but that wasn't going to happen. I played with his hair as he continued with his fascination of the loud beating in my heart. I'm not sure why he needed to listen so closely since he could have probably heard it a mile away. Maybe he was feeling it pound on mercilessly against my ribcage because of his close proximity. I thought to myself wondering if my reaction to him would ever change. I mean, of course, whenever I was changed I would not have a heartbeat-that would obviously change. I didn't foresee myself ever being used to the closeness of Edward Cullen however. It was too much of a miracle to take advantage of.

It was right then, at my most comfortable, the middle of my back began itching as if I had an ant crawling down my tank top. I tried to ignore it hoping I could will it away, but still it persisted. I rolled my eyes and cursed my luck. If I moved now Edward would move off, and then he would probably start suggesting I get some sleep.

"Hey give me a sec." I tried to sound casual, but the itching was becoming maniac. I could have torn my skin off my bones right there if I could. That would bode well for my vampire boyfriend-fiancé now.

"What's the matter?" He asked removing his head off of my chest as I had feared. He looked up at me with his eyes and I felt as if I could melt, but the itch kept at it.

"My back…I just got an itch." I said trying to reach the middle of my back. How I hated having small arms! Then, without a second to react, his hand had slid underneath from the bottom of my shirt scratching the spot that was tormenting me. He had moved up and now his face was close to mine. He scratched gently in circles and suddenly my skin was no longer itching, it was on fire. He looked deep into my eyes and I could feel myself breath differently and my heart to race.

"Better?" He asked laying his cool hand against my back. I was completely in his arms now. I could only nod up and down stupidly. I tried not to shudder at the new touch but he must have known I was more than keenly aware. He pressed his lips gently against mine. The feeling of ice, soft lips on mine was perhaps the best feeling in the world. My hands held onto his face, and I became lost to the touch of him. He pulled away to allow me to breath, kissing my jaw line and neck. I breathed in deep and nearly lost it. His scent was so intoxicating. I took another deep breath and kissed him on the lips. We moved our lips against each other with urgency. How long was it before the wedding? How long could I wait?

I felt Edward relax and I began to feel more of his weight. He kept his hand on my back pulling me closer to him while his other was at my waist. My hands ran through his hair. I'm not sure how it happened but the next thing I knew I was able to wrap my legs around him. I wasn't thinking- I just did. He moaned the moment I did and moved forward instinctually, and then he was out of bed. I lay there breathing heavily for a moment. Sometimes being human and having to catch your breath was a big inconvenience.

"You okay?" I asked in a low voice. I could see his faint shadow at the other side of the room.

"Yeah, just give me a moment." He said quietly. I relaxed and waited for his return. This is what happened almost every time we got closer. He had a moment where he felt like he was losing control. Sometimes I wondered if it was the vampire inside of him, or the teenage human that I had managed to help resurface. Wasn't that the point of making out or for that fact making love? To lose control with someone. He feared losing control with such intensity because he was sure it was the non-human side of him that would take over. I was not always convinced of that.

He came back over slowly and surprised me my laying down exactly like he had before, his head on my chest. I lay extremely still for his benefit. I didn't want to push him against the edge. It wasn't enjoyable like that. I could not force Edward to do anything he wasn't ready to do or wasn't willing to do. I had learned that the hard way many times before. I slowly brought my hand to rest on his back and rubbed it in small circles. He sighed out relaxing again.

"Sorry. It was a reaction before." I apologized to him. Sometimes it was hard to control the thing inside of me. It was not as strong as the urges Edward felt towards me, but it was strong enough to put us both in danger in many ways.

"It's okay." He answered back softly. He looked up to me. "In some ways I love that your body reacts to me in that way. It is as if our bodies are having a conversation with each other." He said smiling at me.

"Yeah, I guess you could think of it that way." I smiled back at him. My body was currently sending the message "take me", but I didn't say that out loud to him. If he was too aware of what I wanted he would have rolled over, and I would be begging him to come back. Begging isn't as sexy as patience.

"It's just too bad they can't continue the conversation just yet." He said as he trailed his finger on the hem of my tank top.

"And if you could translate, what would the conversation involve?" I asked coyly. He looked down but I could see the smile across his beautiful mouth.

"Oh, you can't translate word for word. It's very primitive." He looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes.

"You could give me an idea, you know." I pressed him further. I could be quite the instigator with him.

"Well, as you know, I am still learning this new language." He winked at me and I felt myself swoon. "But I know when I touch you…"He moved up above my hem against the bottom of my ribs. "Your body calls to me, and mine has to answer back." I tried to breathe in and out but his hand traced along my stomach and higher. Patience is definitely sexy but also damn hard.

He laid his head gently on my stomach. Every once and while, he would kiss the delicate skin there, and I had hard time keeping my hands to myself. I controlled my breathing the best I could, surprised at my own self control.

"I wish we were married." He mused against my stomach.

"That makes two of us." I said almost bitterly. I had not wanted to get married, but slowly, very slowly I was warming up to it. I saw it as an eternal comprise. We both got what we wanted and needed, and were secure in our commitment to each other. He grabbed my left hand and pulled it close to his eyes. He traced the finger that carried his ring. He kissed gently and then turned my hand over and kissed my palm. I sighed out and felt contentment come over me, if not longing.

"You tired?" He asked looking up. I was scared he thought I had yawned.

"No." I lied through my teeth. I was exhausted, but I had relaxed Edward. I would barter a thousand nights of restful sleep for that. He moved up again and put his arms around me holding him closer to him.

"Lying is a sin, Bella." He teased me.

"Yes, but so is coveting. I didn't hear the choir on that one." I responded back. He laughed.

"And what would you be coveting?" He question slyly.

"Oh, like you don't know." I said rolling over to my side. He cuddled close toward me.

"Yes, I do." He whispered into my ear. I shuddered at the coolness of his breath, and the heat of his words. "Soon, my love. Very soon." He assured me. I was still very human though, and I knew as I feel asleep that I would see that time spent in patience as the longest of any other time in my life.


	2. Fourth Gear to First Gear

_**Uh Wow. Lots of quick reviews and I am already at 120 hits. Well I guess there were a lot more people out there like me than I thought. Okay, since we are all in this together…if you want to see something (don't get dirty please people) then leave it in your review. I can try to work in everyone's fantasy if can. HeeHee. This is just to hold us over until Breaking Dawn, and then all we have to worry about is the movie in December. Sometimes being obsessed is so inconvenient. **_

_**Thanks again, and I hope to see your review. **_

I let the hot water roll onto my back. I felt my muscles slowly release the tension that had been building all day long. Once Saturdays were reserved for just Edward and I. There were many things we could do but being together was the priority. We had been together today, but with other people-namely Alice Cullen. I saw Alice as my sister already and I could not have been happier to spend the rest of eternity getting closer to her. The problem was that with wedding preparations she immediately threw herself into, and occasionally dragged me into, I was beginning to see an annoying part of Alice. It was like when you start a relationship with someone, friendship or otherwise, and you are on your best behavior. I mean Alice and I were very close before, but this is simply a side to her I haven't seen. The demanding, obsessed side. I hated to think of her like that, so I tried to remember simpler times. I couldn't pick between the time she protected me from the tracker vampire James who was bent on killing me, or the time she took me to Italy to save Edward's life by endangering our own. Simple indeed.

"Bella?" I heard a knock on the door. It took me out of reverie.

"Yeah?" I answered back. I began scrubbing the shopping dirt from my skin. All the new material on my skin almost felt allergic after the fifth outfit she wanted me to try on. All in an effort to find a wardrobe for the honeymoon. I felt guilty that I had left Edward waiting for me. Charlie would be home in about hour and we didn't have much time alone, another tricky thought at the moment.

"Are you okay?" He popped the door open a little bit. I poked by head out of the curtain shocked that he would even think to put his hand on the door knob. When I saw him with his head down and the door only opened less than an inch, I knew his gentleman quality was still intact-unfortunately.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'll be right out." We stood there for a moment. I stared at him. He seemed to be contemplating something. I wish I knew, but then I was thankful I didn't. We were probably thinking the same thing.

"Are you okay?" I asked out to him. He looked up and nodded. He didn't move still. I would have thought something was on me if I didn't know I was completely naked behind a vinyl curtain and in Edward's line of sight. This started to feel like a dangerous game and I involuntarily smiled. He concealed a smile and looked away and closed the door. I could have felt rejected or upset that he didn't do anything further. I was a hormonal teenager after all. But I stood there smiling to myself that he had even opened the door. Was I corrupting Edward Cullen? I chuckled to myself and continued to bathe. 

When I was done, I got dressed in my pajamas and brushed my teeth. I started brushing through my tangled hair. I heard a knock again.

"Yes?" I called out brushing my hair into place.

"Are you…decent?" I laughed out at Edward's question.

"Yes, come in." I said. I could see him in the mirror stand behind me.

"May I?" He asked smiling, holding the brush in my hand. I looked at him strangely. Why would he want to even try to go through this mess of what I liked to call hair? I became instantly self conscience and he saw that quickly. "I'll be gentle." He said wrapping his hands around my waist. Of course he had to use to power of his smile and touch! I could have agreed to go bald when he looked at me like that. I handed him the brush and I braced myself against the counter-surely he would come across a nest of knots deep in my hair. But no jerking or angry muttering of curses toward my hair came. He took the brush through my hair slow and gentle like he had said he would. I felt the bristles on my back when he reached the end of my hair, and I jumped at the sensation. He laughed at me.

"Quiet you." I said trying to eye him in the mirror. His lips were upturned and his eyes kept on my hair. He was concentrating on doing his job, but I could tell he really enjoyed it. He put the brush down after some time and ran his hands through my hair. He would start at my temple and go all through my mane. It felt so intimate and caring. I closed my eyes feeling his hands on my neck gathering my hair. I braced myself to the counter now so I didn't do anything stupid.

"All done." He whispered in a husky voice to me. My hair was practically dry by the time he had finished with it. I looked at my hair in a simple part and for once thought that is was beautiful. Maybe it was because he was so close behind me that it caught some of the perpetual gorgeousness.

"Acceptable." I said shrugging trying to be smart, but I smiled through it. At that moment I would not have been able to complete a joke in front of him-yeah, like I could before. He just looked at me with so much love-and of course the same feeling we shared at the moment. He held onto my waist and kissed my neck.

"You are the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld." I felt his breath on me and I stopped breathing. His mouth was on my neck and shoulders kissing and nuzzling. My eyes closed and tried to remember to bring in air. I didn't realize my hand had reached up and tangled in his hair. "Uh Oh." I opened my eyes and he was smiling at me through the mirror. "Are we having a physical conversation?" We chuckled.

"Is that a problem?" I asked lifting my eyebrow. He couldn't put me through such pleasure only to take it back now. He lips came to my ear.

"I don't have a problem with it, but Charlie might." And then he was gone. I turned around trying to catch him, but I only grabbed air. I heard a ghostly chuckle from him but I couldn't pin point where. I heard Charlie on the porch putting his key in the door.

"I hate when you do that, Edward." I muttered taking my things out of the bathroom and putting them in my room. I couldn't see him there either. Of course he could have left whenever he wanted to without making Charlie the wiser. We had left his Volvo at the Cullen's and ran here. Well, he ran-I held on for dear life.

"Bella?" Charlie's voice came from downstairs.

"Up here Dad." I answered back.

"You alone?" He asked cautiously. Even though I was engaged now didn't mean the rules bent. He wasn't letting Edward alone in my room with me. Of course what he didn't know about him staying all night almost every night wouldn't hurt him.

"No, Dad. I have three men up here and we are having a great time." I said coming down the stairs. Charlie looked at me with his hands on his hips.

"Just checking." He moved to the recliner and turned on the television. I went to kitchen and heated up the casserole I had made him. I stood leaning against the counter counting down the ten to fifteen minutes I had away from Edward. He was probably sitting cool, calm, and collected on my bed as I simmered in my juices downstairs. Stupid, tempting vampire.

I brought out dinner to Charlie and sat down on the couch. He took a bite of the hot food and nodded in approval.

"Very good Bella." He smiled at me and I smiled back.

"Well, I'm going to bed. It's been a very long day." I said trying to move slowly to emphasize sleepiness.

"What did you do all day?" Damn! Caught by the concerned father who wants quality conversation with his daughter.

"Shopped with Alice." I refrained from mentioning Edward. Even though he was my fiancé, Charlie felt I spent too much time with him. That seemed like a very strange contradiction. I wonder what Charlie from almost twenty years would say when he was engaged.

"For the wedding." He said almost as if it bruised his mind to think of it.

"Yeah, and some other things. You know, it's like her hobby. She always loves getting new stuff for herself." Once again I did not mention that Alice and I did browse through the lingerie department, to my deep humiliation, looking for something for the honeymoon night. There's nothing like hearing from your fiancé's sister what she thought he might enjoy. This was stuff you simply did not tell your father.

"Yeah, she is a trip." He said smiling at the mention of Alice. I made a show of a yawn and started back up stairs. "Goodnight, honey." He called out as he focused his attention back on the game. Once more I had to find an ounce of self control to slow my steps on the stairs. I wanted to run into my room and attack Edward, but I kept the act up. When I opened the door I found him just where I had imagined him. He had his hand behind his head, lounging comfortably. I closed the door a little loudly for Charlie to hear it and for Edward to get the feeling behind my look.

"You're such a bad actress." He said smiling as he teased.

"Yeah, well you suck too." I said sitting down in my rocking chair. His brow furrowed as if he was worried. He hadn't caught my sarcastic tone yet.

"Why? What I do?" He said sitting up.

"The bathroom, Edward."I said giving him a look. He looked down.

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I should have left you alone." I could scream. Could the guy not see me teasing him?

"No, Edward. You were fine." I moved over to sit next to him on the bed. "In fact you were more than fine. It was very nice." I smiled up at him and cheered. "It's like you had me in fourth gear of excitement, and then suddenly you disappeared and I had to deal with Charlie, who is like under the first gear. He's like idling." I said thinking of the car concept on relationships. He could not contain his joy then.

"Since when do you speak Car & Driver? It's very…sexy." He moved closer to me and wrapped his arm around my back.

"Yeah, well don't get too excited. That is the end of my expertise." He chuckled and kissed my forehead.

"Are you ready for bed, my love?" He asked and I rolled my eyes.

"No." I said crossing my arms.

"Every night." He mumbled. Before I knew it he had me lifted in his arms and he was settling me properly in bed.

_**I will continue this night in the next chapter. HeeHee. I'm sorry but I am really sick and I only wrote this because I dreamed about it my medicine induced coma. More to come soon. **_


	3. Occupations

_**I'm sorry that I did not update as soon as I saw how many hits this story has gotten- over 250. WooHoo!! I guess I hit a nerve. Anyway, I was really super sick but I feel better now-so here is the update. It is a short one because well…their love scenes are notoriously short. They will lengthen though…no worries. I have just created a You Tube account. My name there is JackieOrioncat. I have many favorite fan made Twilight videos. One of them had the song I listened to while writing this- My Skin by Natalie Merchant. **_

_**Please review. Thanks. (Please include any suggestions or requests.)**_

We lay there as Edward played with my hair-apparently a new fascination. I waited for him to put his lips on my neck again. I waited for him to kiss me again-and he just kept running his hands through my hair. I sighed deeply feeling my patience wearing thin. I really did not always want to be the one to start things, but I found myself often in that position. I understood why, but still it was frustrating.

"Am I bothering you?" He asked stopping his hands and laying me on his chest.

"Yes, but in a good way." I said holding on to him. He chuckled lightly and kissed the top of my head.

"Poor Bella." He said sarcastically. I sat up and looked at him.

"Don't say it like that. This is really hard for me. It's like you're here every night. The one thing I dream about and I can't do a thing about it." He put his hand on my back and I instantly remembered the night before when nothing was there to block him from my skin.

"I understand. I'm sorry. I'm just as frustrated as you. It can be very difficult for me to lie here night after night with you in my arms and do nothing." I felt better after that confession; although I already knew he felt the same way. Somehow voicing it made me feel a little relieved I wasn't some pervert. I lay back down and he rolled to his side to see me better. His hand held my face and traced all of my features.

"That's probably not helping is it?" He didn't stop though.

"Oh it helps." I replied and snuggled closer to him. I put my face against his chest. I could feel his cool skin on the other side of his shirt.

"Look at me, Bella." He said softly into my hair. I looked up and his eyes were smoldering. Never mind how many times I had stared into his topaz eyes, the color always shocked me. The most beautiful eyes I have seen. "I love you." He said with a crooked smile.

Before I could say anything back or catch my breath, his lips were against mine. First ours lips moved slow and gentle. My eyes closed as his finger lightly grazed down my neck to my bare arm. I pressed against him. The powerful need to be close to him was so consuming. It was like a light switch inside of me that when flipped on it was all I could think of. I could only think of his skin on mine, his lips on mine. I could only harbor thoughts of him-there was no one else. The world could wait forever.

His touch was addicting. Each contact we made with each other was not long enough. I needed more and more, and I wasn't taking no for an answer. He thought more of me than I did and he moved his lips to my neck. I breathed in air that I did not miss, but he remembered I needed. His scent and touch surrounded me. It was heaven and I didn't need to breathe- I needed him. I couldn't let my lips lay idle as he tenderly touched every inch of my neck. I moved to his neck and kissed it passionately. I touched my tongue to his neck and he sighed out heavily. It was hard to keep quiet suddenly, but we somehow remembered we had to. He gathered me in his arms and leaned into me against the bed. His hand rested on my waist and gripped it. I could tell how much control he was exerting but he wasn't ready to stop, and I wasn't arguing.

His lips were on mine now and we were both more eager than when we had started. I felt a heat flush my skin as we pressed our bodies together. His hand moved down my leg and settled on my thigh near my knee. He kissed me with so much earnest passion, and I tried to match it. I felt as if I was floating in a warm sea and Edward was the one thing anchoring me here to earth. He was my only focus. I had to remind myself I wasn't dreaming. I was alive and here with him. It was ecstasy to feel him so close. He moved my leg to wrap about his hip and I gasped. He looked at me and I could see the desire in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked afraid that he was going to stop. I didn't want to go any further if he was going to stop suddenly. I felt like I would have been drowned in that warm sea. He smiled and kissed me more slowly and somehow his body was closer. He put his arms underneath me against my shirted back. I so desperately wished to have his cool skin there. It was as if he could hear my thought and his hands went under my shirt. One of his hands settled at the top of my back and the other in the middle. My body felt so small and fragile in his arms like this. I opened my eyes at the sensation. I had not remembered the feeling with justice. My leg wrapped tighter around him. I felt his fingers gently grip my back. He rolled me over so that I was on top of him. He held on to my face and kissed down my neck and collarbone before visiting my lips again. His hands roamed up and down my back, and often he would move my shirt to get to my bare skin. And then suddenly he stopped.

"Wait." He said and I stilled. He rolled his eyes and smiled to himself. "Charlie is coming up in a few minutes."

"No." I whined and dropped my head on his chest. He moved me off of him and tucked me into bed. "Are you sure?" I asked him when I did not hear Charlie's footsteps on the stairs.

"Oh Bella." He chuckled. "I wasn't ready to stop-I'm very sure." He smiled wickedly at me. Somehow control found a way into our situation, and neither one of us were responsible for it. Then I heard Charlie huffing up the stairs and I shot Edward a look.

"Told you." He said smiling. He touched my lips lightly with a kiss, and then suddenly the door opened. I closed my eyes pretending to sleep. Edward was nowhere to be seen when Charlie peeked into my room. Satisfied that I wasn't harboring Edward, or the three men I had threatened before, Charlie closed the door and went to his room for the night. Edward was in my bed beside me before the door completely closed.

"Aren't you glad I can read your father's mind before he interrupts our most private occupations?"He said whispering into my ear as he held me. I smiled and a wicked thought came to my mind.

"That is a handy trick, but I prefer the fact that you move at superhuman speed to get back in my bed." He chuckled quietly in the dark.


	4. Fruit

_**I cannot tell you how stunned I am about the reception this story has gotten. I mean it just really fluff. Just a little distraction until August. Almost there!! Thanks so much for your support. **_

_**Please leave a review. If you wish to make a request or suggestion you can leave it in a review. **_

_**This chapter & the next are for Abriana who requested a meadow scene. Like I could have said no to that. **_

_**Thanks again. **_

How many times was it actually sunny in Forks, Washington? I could probably count it on one hand. So it was not surprising when I woke up Sunday morning to Edward suggesting we take a trip to our meadow. I loved that we had a place together. Before it was his, but now it was ours. There was such a warm feeling in the idea that he had endeavored that day two years ago now to share it with me. I smiled at him widely when he made the suggestion.

"I suppose I should take that as a yes." He said smiling just as brightly back. Then a thought hit me and my brow furrowed.

"What about Charlie? What is doing today?" I asked out to the air mostly to myself.

"He already left to fish- he left a note on the kitchen table for you. He came in very early this morning to check on you, and to tell you, but he decided to let you sleep." He licked his lip and looked down suddenly. First a small smile graced his mouth, and then a frown.

"What?"I asked lifting my head to see him better.

"He stood over you for a few moments. He was thinking about how beautiful you are, and how he remembered you as a little girl. You were a very beautiful child, Bella." I put my head back on the pillow and looked up to the ceiling. I had not expected to hear that. I had lately, in my haste to be with Edward, forgotten Charlie. I was about to be married and Charlie thought I was moving away to school. I was moving away, but I was also becoming a vampire. He would think that after I moved to the east to go to school then I would be back, but the truth was…I wasn't going to be back. I was leaving him behind. Just like my mother left him. My heart ached at the thought.

I had already broken Charlie's heart before. I remembered so easily the look in his eyes when I had to convince him to let me go when James was hunting me. I had done it to protect him, but I still deeply hurt him. I began to understand why Edward called himself a selfish creature to want to be with me. I had become selfish because I would rather leave or hurt the ones I loved to be with Edward. He was what I wanted most, but he came with a price. Everything in this life seemed to, including true love.

"I'm sorry. I know that must hurt to hear."He looked down as if guilty. "I should not have told you." He held me close into his arms.

"No…its fine. I want to hear stuff like that." I said feeling angry at myself for not being a better daughter. I was about ready to abandon my father for an eternity and I couldn't spend time with him? I felt tears start to invade my eyes but I fought back. I could do nothing about Charlie at the moment, so I wouldn't ruin the day for Edward.

"Don't be sorry." I pulled back and looked at him. "Thank you for telling me." I kissed him lightly. "Now-human moment." I got out of bed and he followed me across the room. I turned around him and looked at him puzzled. "Are you joining or something?" I smiled at him when he laughed out.

"No. I just…I…"He seemed to struggle with his words. It was very…human.

"What?" I said crossing my arms, not letting the subject drop.

"I wasn't thinking. I just have been waiting for you to wake up."He looked at me as if he was humiliated. He was following me around like a puppy, but I found that adorable. I'm sure though any reference to a dog would be an insult to him. I tried not to think of Jacob by just the mention of the word.

"Edward Cullen, are you excited about me being awake?" I teased him. He smiled showing his perfect teeth. Before I knew it, he was inches from my face.

"I'm absolutely and utterly ecstatic whenever you are around me, awake or not." He kissed me and I stood on my toes to get more leverage in the kiss. The rules weren't as strict as they used to be. I pulled away and smiled at him.

"Just checking." I went to the bathroom then and showered. I found myself thinking odd things about the future. What would it be like to bathe my cold body when I turned? Would I look very different? I then stopped, feeling somehow guilty that I was very eager to leave my life behind. I was inheriting a dream- a perfect and loving dream. But I didn't have to think about that today I decided. I wanted to pretend that I had no major decisions lurking on the horizon like a spoiler to a fun movie. I wanted to pretend I had nothing to worry about in the future. I had Edward. I had the present. I just wanted that today.

I walked out of the bathroom in my robe and I half expected Edward to still be standing in the hallway waiting for me. It certainly would have opened another "physical conversation", but he wasn't there. I could hear him downstairs in the kitchen. He was probably trying to find food for me-his human girlfriend. The novelty of that idea was soon to be ended. I corrected my thoughts. He was my boyfriend making sure I was fed. Nothing else.

I dressed in jeans in a t-shirt and grabbed a hooded sweater. It was amazing that despite it being close to summer how Forks weather could revolt against convention and nature. If it wanted to snow in June, it would. I secured my clumsy feet as safely as I could in sneakers. I looked in my mirror and brushed my hair out. I let it lay down my back even though it wasn't behaving as well as it could, but I knew Edward preferred that. It was funny how many things I had adopted because he enjoyed them. Some things were silly like my hair, and others were life changing. I had tried brand new things with Edward, things I would have never tried. My life felt like it was being enlightened, and it was just getting started.

I came downstairs to see Edward packing a basket of food and water. I looked into the gathering and nearly laughed. It was enough food to feed an army.

"I feel a little like Gretel. Are you trying to fatten me up to push into your oven?" I joked with him. He narrowed his eyes at me. "What? You couldn't be Hansel." I said shrugging my shoulders and grabbing an apple. I bit into and he watched me.

"Good?" He asked suddenly interested. I smiled at him.

"No it's terrible." I said as I took another bite out of the fruit. "Don't you remember the taste of apples?"

"I have very few memories of my human life. A very small percentage is dedicated to recollections on food." He said putting another bottle of water in the basket. That made seven.

"Hey, if you put another one in there our whole afternoon will be spent in human moments." I pointed to the bottle.

"You have to stay hydrated." He said to me innocently. I chuckled at him and shook my head.

"So you really don't remember apples?" I felt like he was being robbed of something fundamental about being American.

"I'm not sure. Tell me what it tastes like." He stared at me waiting. I licked my lips and took a moment to think.

"It's sweet, but not overpowering." I took a small bite again and really tasted this flesh of the apple. "It is amazingly juicy and has a sugary consistency. It melts in your mouth, but I like the way it snaps when you bite it." I said biting down as seductively had I could as I looked at him. I couldn't help the smile I had on my face as I chewed. He had a half smile on his face, and I could tell by his eyes that he was amused.

"You are a menace, Bella." He stepped closely to me. He grabbed the apple in my hand. "Are you finished with this?" He asked politely, but I could tell he wanted to rip it out of my hand. He wanted to do a great many things, and I could read almost everyone in his eyes. I nodded my head up and down. He took the apple from me and expertly tossed it into the trash can across the room. Before the apple hit the bag, his lips were eagerly on mine.

The apple had no competition to how sweet Edward tasted. I held on to him as Edward backed us up gently into a wall. My hands ran through his soft hair and I felt myself get light headed. My heart was pumping loudly inside of my chest, but I didn't pay any attention to it. He traveled down my neck and collarbone and I gasped when I felt his tongue trace gently along my skin. It was so easy to excite me, but then again Edward was an expert at doing it. Against the wall I felt like I was at his mercy, and the thought made my adrenaline go through the roof. I knew he never would do anything I wasn't ready for, but somehow there was a desire in me for him to get out of control. I wanted him to act on his instincts 

and desires- they matched my own. He came back to my lips and we slowed to a stop. He stared into my eyes as I caught my breath. He was close to my face and his scent surrounded me so lusciously.

"I think I remember what an apple tastes like now. You, though, are the sweetest thing I have ever tasted."


	5. The Meadow

_**I know I keep saying that I am like blown away about how many people care about this story, but I am approaching 2,000 hits. Whoa!! Thanks so much. **_

_**Here is the meadow scene as requested by Abriana. I do believe I will do some more meadow in the next chapter, so just to let you know. **_

_**Please leave a review. I would love to hear what you think as well as suggestions and requests. **_

_**Thanks for the support again!! **_

As we ran through the forest at top speed and I leaned my head on Edward's shoulder watching the trees fly by. I marveled at the idea that the first time I ran with him I was beyond sick with adrenaline. Now after my wonderful experiment with speed and gravity courteous of motorcycle rides and jumping from a cliff, I enjoyed the speed almost as much as Edward did. I felt him smile under me and I gripped on tighter to him. If I had closed my eyes I would have believed I was in a dream-a very fast moving dream. I could not even at that moment comprehend how much I loved him. It was immeasurable-infinite. How did I manage to fall so deeply? I could not answer my question and we had slowed as I could see the clearing up ahead. He let me down and held that basket in one hand, and then took my hand in his other.

"Good ride?" He said smiling, although I knew he truly was checking on me. Every since I had reacted with a bout of dizziness the first time, he always checked to make sure I was not repetitive in my first reaction.

"Gets better every time." I said smiling back. He laughed out at me.

"Well, that is good. It really is the easiest way to get around, and must admit the most exciting in more way than one." His eyes sparkled with a thought.

"Is it exciting because I am enjoying it and not demanding you put me down before you hit a tree?" I said chuckling. He stopped and leaned into me.

"No, it's because you are so very close to me." He lifted his mouth in a smirk and I felt myself grow faint. I pressed my lips together to conceal my smile and blush. He looked ahead and kept us walking. I could tell he was very pleased with himself every single time he was able to get my blood to rush my cheeks. He always said that it was one of his most favorite things to see. I suddenly thought that he would not see that soon enough. I halted my line of thinking and kept walking with him. I squeezed his hand, reminding myself to live right now. I had no appetite to worry about the future today.

The day was truly beautiful. I could see the soft yellow sun filter slowly through the trees as the day marched along. It was still early in the morning, but the sun was particularly powerful today. My stomach jumped at the fact that I would see Edward's skin sparkle again. I still could not get over the beauty of his skin exposed and reflecting the light of the sun.

"What are you smiling about, my love?" He asked as we entered the light of the meadow. His skin caught the sun like a prism immediately, and I felt my breath catch and heart stop. How could anything so lovely love me so unconditionally?

"I was smiling about you." I said. He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed it. My dull, matte skin looked so much plainer next to the diamonds shining from him. We walked into the middle of the meadow and he rolled out a blanket for us to sit on.

"Oh, wow. We're getting fancy now." I mentioned at the idea that we thought to bring a blanket this time. Most of the time we just lay on the grass whether it was damp or not. He laughed at me and nodded up and down.

"Only the best for my girl." He said smiling. I lay back on the ground and held out my arms.

"Well then come on over." He smiled and removed his shirt to reveal a white undershirt underneath. I felt myself gawk at him. Not only was his body the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen, but the way the sun glistened on every part of him made him look like an angel. No, that didn't seem to even cover it. Perhaps the term godly would do well. He settled down next to me and put his arm under my head so I had a cushion. Even though that cushion was rock hard it was nice to feel his cool skin on my neck. I turned over so my face rested on his shoulder.

"This is a wonderful way to spend the day." I mused as I lightly pressed my lips to his skin.

"I did bring some entertainment." He said reaching back to the basket and grabbing a book. He held it in front of me to see: Pride and Prejudice.

"You're good, Edward Cullen. Very good." I kissed him and he smiled proud at me.

"What's your favorite section?" He asked as he flipped through the pages casually.

"Chapter fifty eight." I said exceedingly impressed that he was so attuned to my own interest.

"Ah. When Darcy officially proposes." He said turning quickly to the correct page. I nearly kissed him madly then for knowing what the chapter was about. I was caught up in my thinking about Edward when I noticed the passage he was reading. I could have probably been able to quote this chapter word for word if pressed to.

"_If you will thank me," he replied, "let it be for yourself along. That the wish of giving happiness to you, might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe, I thought only of you."_

I listened to Edward's clear voice as the wind blew softly on our faces. The grass was high with flowers touching some of the tips. The scent of the nature around us made me feel so alive and awake. Edward's scent seemed to be magnified as well in this paradise. I looked as the blue sky above us that kept almost clear of clouds. It is strange what someone might think of Heaven at times. Last night I could only comprehend Heaven as Edward's touch and closeness. Now I could see an eternity of reading Jane Austen in our meadow on a clear day as the best Heaven. Perhaps there were many Heavens, and thankfully Edward was always a part of it.

"Is there another section you would like me to read?" He asked turning toward me and laying the book on his chest. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly.

"Mmm. Maybe in a little bit." I said closing my eyes against the bright sun, and he moved the book to the side. He brushed through my hair with his hand. I felt so relaxed as he gently rubbed my head and then down my back.

"What are you thinking about, my love?" I opened my eyes when he asked. I didn't want to tell him I was thinking of heaven because we would surely get into a theological debate about whether or not he had a soul. Of course that wasn't even the part of the conversation I was worried about. It was the part in which he believed that he was robbing me of my own soul. It was in these times that I was truly happy that Edward Cullen could not read my mind.

"Just how much I love you." I said honestly. When heaven was truly thought about it was with the love for Edward that I looked through. Heaven would not be without him. I could not imagine a god that would deny him eternity with me.

"I still remember so vividly the first day I brought you here." He said looking up to the sky. I rolled over to my stomach to look at him as he spoke. "I was so nervous-not just because I was going alone with you to a very remote place, and I feared what might happen, but that would see the monster I was." I gave him a pointed look at the word monster. "I was so sure you would run away screaming from me in hysterics. It was that scenario or that I would somehow lose control with no one truly around for miles. It frightened me so much." He closed his eyes and shook his head at the memory.

"So why did you do it? I mean you are talking about pretty powerful emotions. I'm surprised you still did it." I put my hand on his arm. He placed his other hand on mine.

"I didn't expect your thorough acceptance, your love even from the earliest point of our relationship. Even though I wished, at first, you were not so curious or interested about me…I ached for your touch. I longed to speak to you, to listen to what you had to say. My desire outweighed any logic I could have grabbed onto at the time. I guess our relationship has been illogical at times." He creased his brow.

"Well, thanks Mr. Spock. That makes me feel better." I said rolling my eyes and tried to roll on my back. He stopped me with this hand.

"I wasn't meaning it badly, Bella. I was simply stating that we have been through many obstacles to be here." He held the side of my face. I scooted myself up so that I was level with him. I looked at him waiting for permission and he nodded. I kissed him as tenderly as I could, which was easily done just thinking about his love. His hands were in my hair. He pulled me away from me and kissed my neck where my blood pulsed wildly. I put my hands on either side of him to allow him as much access as he wished. Somewhere in my mind there still was a tiny voice that reminded me exactly what Edward Cullen was, and what he could do, but I was unafraid. I loved him with my heart and soul, and I could not do that without complete trust and faith. He could have my entire body for his bidding. I would gladly give it to him. He held onto my face and looked at me.

"I remember doing that for the first time here in this meadow." He smiled at me now. He put his hands behind his head and I lay on his chest. I traced his arms, neck and face with my fingertips.

"I remember touching you like this for the first time here, too. Except I was limited to your hand." He chuckled lightly at my words. "Sometimes it feels like we have taken so many baby steps to get here. I mean, I don't know if I could go through the day not kissing you the way I do now. Not being able to touch you like I am able to do now."

"I'm sure we will feel that a hundred more times truer when we are married." I couldn't help but smile at him and laughed at the joke in my head.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said embarrassed that I had even thought of it.

"No, please tell me. You know how much I despise not knowing what you are thinking." He said sincerely.

"Ugh!!" I said exasperated that he hauled the guilt trip out. "I was just thinking…I had a stupid thought….Oh God this is so humiliating." He stared at me intently amused. "I was just thinking. Sex: once your pop you just can't stop." I said closing my eyes.

"Where is that from?" He asked trying not to laugh.

"A chip commercial." I said looking down feeling my cheeks burn terribly. He was laughing at me now without concealment.

"Your generation and subliminal messaging!" He said calming himself down.

"I told you I was stupid." I said covering my face with my hands. He took them away from face.

"No, Bella, not stupid. Just hormonal." He said chuckling at me.


	6. Sensation

**Okay first, I am really sorry for not updating soon. I know- a crime. But I have a couple reasons. First I was sick, ya'll knew that though. Second I have found two stories that I have become obsessed with and will be referencing. And third I have been doing my studying to be a preschool teacher (yeah I know, you didn't see that coming) and I have been working on my YouTube channel (check me out under JackieOrioncat). **

**Now Breaking Dawn is coming out soon. The 4 min. trailer for Twilight should be out on July 15****th**** (my wedding anniversary too, heehee). So there is a lot to distract. I'm not sure you need me anymore. If I feel inspired to write a love scene, I shall, but we will see. **

**Now here are the two stories (seriously the best out there)**

**Vicissitudes by Twilightzoner – This is a possible examination of what happens when Bella turns into a vampire. Really super good. One of the best fanfiction stories, really stories, I have read in a long time. Oh My God, so sweet and sad, but then good at the end**

**Blue Moon Over Manka's by Cullenista- Wow, excellent and she really did a lot of research on this. You are getting an experience with this story. It is fluffy like mine, but much, much better. Wow. Very much a character exploration. Excellent. **

**Thanks, and I hope you leave a review. **

After a while Edward started handing me a water bottle and demanding that I "hydrate" myself. I drank as ordered but I did complain about being babied. Of course I did. Edward was old enough to be my great-grandfather and any reminder of his age compared to mine made me a bit irritated. As I took another swig of the water bottle, he dug into the basket again and produced an apple and cheese.

"Try them together." He said encouragingly. I looked at him strangely.

"What?" He smiled at me.

"This is actually something I do remember about apples. Try the cheese with the apple." He said scooting closer to where I sat. I took a bite out of apple and then out of cheese. It was salty sweet. The texture of the cheese and apple mixed in my mouth like a cream, and I made a sound of culinary delight.

"That is really good." I said when I finished. I took another bite and he watched me intently. I felt uncomfortable him staring at me eating so I tried to start a conversation. "So what all do you remember about your life?" He looked down and then up to the sky that was beginning to cloud over.

"It really depends. Sometimes I remember very little, and then something will return to me. It is very circumstantial. I actually find myself recollecting more things when I am with you." He smiled and brushed the hair out my face. The wind had been breezing all day long but now it seemed to grow stronger.

"What kind of things do you remember?" I asked curiously. He lay back with his hands behind his head.

"Usually it is very simple things like the apple. I had a memory recently of a morning eat breakfast with my mother. They are like quick flashes. Sometimes I suspect my mind is creating them." I put down the apple and lay next to him. He gathered me into his arms. "At least I know you are very real." He grinned down at me.

"I'm sure I'm much more alluring in your dreams." I joked and laughed at myself. He rolled over on top of me.

"Oh but you forget Bella, I can't dream. Every moment I'm with you is a dream." I chuckled when I thought that if anyone else used that line it would have been cheesy.

"Prove it." I challenged. He came close to my face and I waited for him to kiss my lips. He looked deeply into my eyes as if he would burn me through. I took a breath trying to steady myself and hopefully gain some patience as I waited for his lips. He smirked at me as if humored by his own wicked withholding and pulled away.

"Mmm."He started to move away as if indifferent, but my control vanished and I grabbed onto his shirt. His mouth was soon on mine, moving excitedly with my lips. I held onto his shirt trying to pull him closer to me, but still feeling like I was miles away from him. I became aware that the simple undershirt he was wearing gave me access to more of his skin. My hands slid down his back and I lifted the hem of his shirt lightly. I felt him freeze above me and look at me. He held himself over me, once more trying to spare me his weight.

"Bella?" I hated that his tone had a warning to it.

"Just trust me. I won't do anything crazy. I won't even take off your shirt." I pleaded with him. He knew how much I trusted him, and I wanted the same from him. I used my eyes to convey all the reassurance I could. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

"Okay." He whispered. He watched my eyes as I began the movement in my hands again. I started as slowly as I could possibly move. I let my finger tips trail the place where the hem of his shirt used to lie. I felt him take sharp intake of breath, and his eyes involuntarily closed. I knew he didn't need to breath, but it must have been a new sensation. How much shock could it have been the first time I ever touched him? I was not the only one feeling new sensations. I had never touched Edward like this. I moved my hand higher up his back and settled it on either side of the bottom of his ribcage. His breath became ragged and he laid his head in the crook of my neck.

"You have no idea how wonderful that feels." He whispered into my ear. I kissed his cheek and whispered back.

"I do." He turned to look at me and smiled.

"My two new favorite words." He kissed me and I kept my hands still on his back. I felt his cold tongue trace my lips slowly and I almost forgot to feel the rest of body. I moved my hands together so I could be closer to him. He kissed me lightly. I knew he was becoming overwhelmed by this. Part of me rejoiced that I could bring such a reaction out, and another was terribly cautious to go his pace. I knew that if I went my pace he would be stopping soon.

"Are you okay?" I asked him seriously. I didn't want to be suddenly rejected. I knew I shouldn't see it like that, but sometimes the thought crept in my head. I knew he was trying to protect both of us on so many levels. Sometimes I wondered why we tried at all, and then there were times like this when it made every sacrifice, every ill conceived idea of rejection utterly worth it.

"Slowly, Bella." He said to me lowly. I heard the warning in his voice again. His hand gently caressed my cheek and I smiled up at him. I felt so completely content I forgot almost what I had asked and what he had answered. I felt like the earth was melting around us, and we were the last things to exist.

"My God you are beautiful." He looked as if he was genuinely in awe. I wanted to believe him with all of my heart, despite the tiny voice of under confidence that gave her opinion. I pushed the voice in the darkest recess of my mind and gazed into Edward's eyes. He was being truthful. To him I was beautiful. I was what he wanted. And in that moment and every single one after it, he would be what I wanted. Forever.


	7. Alone On A Couch

_**Okay…I know I suck…But I'm back!!**_

_**So I was a little disappointed with Breaking Dawn for a few reasons, you can see those reasons on my channel on YouTube; JackieOrioncat. **_

_**But otherwise I liked it…As we get further into the series we will see if I go into Breaking Dawn. I was interested in maybe doing the wedding night…We'll see. **_

_**So this was a request…I don't remember from who. Hope you're still reading. So here we go with the fun! **_

_**All Character are Stephenie Meyer's, I only play with them. Heehee!! **_

Soon the clouds invaded our sunny paradise in the meadow. The last hour had been dedicated to watching the dark grey clouds encroach on us. Edward kept warning me that we should leave, but I was fascinated watching the change of the day. It was also nice to be alone with him like this. To not be hindered by suspicious parents, curious siblings, and unassuming humans who would have spotted issues with Edward's behavior that I barely registered anymore.

I could smell the faint scent of rain carried on the wind which picked up with more speed and force each moment. Just another reminder of how very bipolar Washington was. Finally I stopped stalling and told him we could leave.

Before Edward quickly gathered everything together, he produced an umbrella from the bag. The moment it was in my hands I could feel the light sprinkles against the vinyl. I looked at him confused.

"I can run you out of this in no time; I just didn't want you to be uncomfortable." He smiled as he finally had everything situated to pull me on to his back. I laughed at him. I probably had been under the umbrella for less than thirty seconds.

"I've lived here a few years Edward, I'm used to a little rain." I joked. He signaled for me to give back the umbrella. "How did you know?" I asked before handing it back to him. "Oh never mind", I said, "Alice." I concluded while he grabbed the umbrella from me and then gently placed me on his back. He took off running, and like he said we were already out of the rains path. He slowed down a little to look back to me.

"No, not Alice. There's nothing wrong with trusting the Weather Channel every once and while. She's a psychic not a full time meteorologist." He joked. I laughed out loud and rested my forehead on his shoulder still chuckling.

"Excuse me! I would never offend the Weather Channel!" He smiled at me and then continued with his outrageous speed through the forest. He lowered me down when we were finally at the Volvo, and kindly opened my door for me. I just smiled brightly at him as a sat myself in the passenger side. I loved the way he treated me. It was the way all the men used to treat ladies. Of course I had only been witness to this through movies.

"So what's on the menu tonight?" I said as Edward entered the car almost too quickly for me to see.

"I'm not sure. All I know is that Esme was intent on making you something spectacular." Usually on Sunday nights I was having dinner at the Cullen's while Charlie hung out with either Sue Clearwater or Billy. He seemed quite content with this separation because he could watching the last games of the afternoon with Billy and then talk non-stop about each play that had happened. I had been unable to follow this conversation when I stayed home with him. It also was beneficial for me because I was trying to learn all I could about being a vampire, and about being with my new family before the fast approaching wedding.

We were still about two hours away from dinner, but I was sure I was going to stumble into the kitchen with Esme slaved over a hot stove. Although I knew that this would not bother her, I still could only feel sympathy for the tired exertion I knew she would not suffer from.

"When you say spectacular, does that mean flavor or quantity? Because I'm not sure how much Esme remembers of human appetites, but last week I thought she had invited the whole town over to eat with how much food she made." I said shaking my head at the memory of seeing three steaks, a huge bowl of mashed potatoes, and a horde of homemade bread that smelled so good it could have been edible sin. That wasn't mentioning the chocolate cake she insisted I try at the end. Everything was excellent, but obviously way too much. Edward's hands briefly held his hands away from the steering wheel in a gesture of surrender.

"I can't convince her otherwise, Bella. Eat what you can, but let her enjoy whatever maternal content this gives her." He said looking over to me with a smile and gentle plea in his eyes. I gave a side smile and sigh knowing I couldn't deny that guilty trip. I looked out the window to see the trees fly by and the rain finally reach us. It pounded on the windshield and windows with a sudden force-almost like a summer squall. I glanced over to Edward who as comfortable as ever. Of course he was. He probably could see a mile ahead of us through the curtain of water.

Before I knew it we were pulling into the Cullen's garage. Edward met me on my side and guided me into the house. The moment we entered the house Edward's shoulders relaxed minutely, and his face lit up. I looked around seeing no one around. I pricked my weak ears to try and hear any of the other Cullens, but I could only hear the rain being accompanied by the strong wind.

"I guess we're alone…" Edward trailed off with a low voice.

"Oh." I said pleasantly surprised.

"Wait right here." He said as he parted from me to dart into the kitchen. Even though it was incredibly difficult to do, I tried to make myself comfortable. I always felt odd trying "make myself at home" when it wasn't my home, although the Cullen's house was quickly become only second to Charlie's place. I took my shoes off that were dry due to Edward's worry about me being uncomfortable. I walked to the big white couch and sat myself down. Edward came back into sight moving slowly. He had his hands in his pockets looking suddenly nervous.

"What is it? Everything alright?" I asked worried that something had happened.

"Yeah. Everything is fine. They left a note in the kitchen. They should be back in about an hour." He chucked a little at himself. "Esme is going to take it easy on you this time. Hamburgers and fries." He said sitting down next to me. I could feel a strange vibe from him. His eyes avoided mine, like he did not want me to know what he was thinking.

"Oh well that's nice." I said as I instinctively leaned into him. He pulled his arm around me and I felt like I had suddenly felt a jolt from his touch. Was that it? In that moment I considered his words.

_I guess we're alone…_

I smiled hoping that what I was thinking was correct. Had Edward Cullen's mind gone to what we could do all alone before mine did? Could that be? I felt myself lightly smirk and bit my lip.

"What?" He asked curious to my reaction.

"Nothing." I smiled. I moved my legs ups and folded them underneath me before I turned to him. I put my arm on the back of the couch.

"So what are we going to do then?" I asked. I would have loved it to come out seductively or anything remotely interesting, but I'm sure it was delivered with flushed shyness I always seemed to exude. My hand drifted up to his neck and rubbed my fingers along his cool skin.

"Bella." He warned with hardly any force. It almost sounded like he was restraining himself from giving in. So he was on the same page! Oh my! Edward Cullen moved to be hormonal before I was! I could feel my blush creeping hotter into my cheeks.

"You thought about it first didn't you?" I pointed at him with assurance of my discovery.

"What are you talking about?" He tried innocence unsuccessfully.

"Oh you know! You know exactly what I'm referring to." He rolled his eyes and gave a heavy sigh. "Edward, I know you too well, and I know when something is not usual. You did, didn't you?"

"How do you know I don't usually? I just hide it well." He countered back cocking his head to the side.

"I don't think so. I'm always the first to think like a teenager." I said half proud and half embarrassed.

"You don't think I think the same way, or feel the same way about you?" He asked seriously. I took a moment to think about it and came to my same old conclusions. I wanted him more than he wanted me.

"Maybe. I mean Edward, think about it. You…" Before I could finish my thoughts he was kissing me. My mouth shocked at first became alive the moment I realized I was right, and also wrong. Edward had come to the thought I usually had when we were alone before I did, but he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. Words would not have convinced me, but this kiss sure did. His palm rested on my face as he kissed me, while his fingers were in my hair. He slowed his lips and pulled away to look at me.

"Do you still hold on to your silly preconceptions about my desire for you, Bella?" He said in warm voice. I smiled.

"Only if it means you have to prove to me otherwise like this." I said before I kissed him with the same passion we had before. It was then that I heard a faint giggle. Edward stilled and gave an irritated sigh.

"Alice is coming, along with the rest of the family." He said. I looked down at us seeing we had tangled ourselves in a very interesting and passionate embrace.

"But you said they wouldn't come back for an hour." I said almost pouting as we pulled away from each other.

"The vile paper lied." He said just a sour as I felt.

"Oh don't feel too bad." Alice came through an open window. "You have later tonight to look forward to." Her voice trilled with confidence and amusement. Jasper came behind her. He cocked an eyebrow, gave a quick nod, and then exited the room. I guess the feeling of passion was just too much for him at the moment. Alice laughed lightly. The rest of the family started to come in as well. She moved gracefully to my side and grabbed my hand.

"Otherwise I would not be stealing you away for a few minutes." She pulled me from the couch and away from Edward. I must have looked like the poor wretch I felt as she marched me upstairs to her room, because Edward tried to give a sympathetic smile.


	8. Shoes & Alice

_**Wow check me out!! Like updating really quickly…I'm already working on the next chapter too!! Wow! **_

_**Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and alerts. And again I'm sorry I have not been updating…LIFE! **_

_**So if you have any ideas or suggestions please feel free to leave it in a review or you can message me!!**_

_**Um…No Edward in this, but I thought it was cute and fluffy, and it kinda factors to the mood in the next chapter. So sorry if I disappoint, but I had a blast writing this chapter. **_

_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **_

I could smell the hamburgers all the way up in Alice's room. When we first got in she darted into her massive closet to dress in another outfit. She gave the excuse the she had to gotten the other wet in the storm. Since it was still raining as if Forks was in the middle of a bible epic, I didn't judge. I sat comfortable on a couch just outside of her closet as she fussed over herself a few times; finally picking an outfit she was satisfied with. She even tried several times to get me to change into another outfit. Of course she had plenty of clothes she bought for me, she'd explained, just waiting for me to come to my senses. I laughed at her and started to stare at the bedroom door contemplating escape.

"You'd never get past the threshold." She called out from the closet. She appeared before me with her hands on her hips. She wore a white mini dress with pink leggings. She had a pink shrug over her narrow shoulders and white flats on her feet. She looked like a model out of a Seventeen magazine summer issue.

"Well, what if I called Edward to get me?" I risked playing with her temper. Her eyes squinted with disapproval.

"I would make Jasper make him as content as a kitten. He would be useless for your escape, or for anything else for that matter." She countered with a sly smile. I gave her fake smile back and rolled my eyes.

"Well since you have no patience for chatter, I guess I will have to just go straight the issue at hand." She said moving at lightning speed across her room.

"And what would that be?" I said while my eyes tried to keep up with her twirling body. She produced two boxes and sat down next to me.

"Nothing serious, but I do ask that you don't describe what you see here at all! Edward can hear." She said waiting for my agreement.

"I don't understand." I said completely dumbfounded.

"Oh Bella. Think! Why would I not want Edward to know what I'm about to show you?" She said pursing her lips together. I knew Alice loved me like a sister, but I seem to be annoying her a little today. Maybe I should call Jasper to make _her_ as content as a kitten. The thought crossed my mind a few times. If she knew, she didn't say anything.

"Oh!" I said quickly realizing what she was referring to. The wedding! I was the only one who could spoil the intimate details of the wedding, specifically anything that involved me. Alice had clouded her thoughts about anything pertaining to my appearance to make sure Edward couldn't see it in her mind.

"Sorry, Alice. I must be super distracted today. I get it. I promise." I watched as her face finally relaxed from her slight intimidation and she gave a bright smile.

"Now remember, no describing." She lifted the two lids of the boxes as if some ceremony was occurring. I couldn't help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. What I saw in the box quickly shot that chuckle and any enthusiasm I had out the water. Before me sat the makings of a disaster. Don't get me wrong; they were the most beautiful shoes I had ever seen, but they spelled doom for Bella Swan. I would know- I was the one and only.

"Alice…please…please tell me you're joking. I can't wear those!" Alice's hand was at my mouth.

"No describing! He can hear!" She scolded.

"I can't help it!" I mumbled under her hand.

"Fine. He knows it's something you wear now, but edit please!" I gave a heavy sigh; part of it was irritation, and the other exhaustion at this intricate game to keep Edward in the dark.

"Alright then. I don't think _that's_ me." I offered with an uncertain shrug.

"Well, I know that. I just wanted to know the lesser of the two evils. Which one could you handle?" She asked pivoting the boxes for better inspection. I saw more details on the shoes. Both were ivory like my dress, and had heels at least four inches high.

One was a sandal. It had a strap that would go over my toe and the top of my foot. I picked one of the sandals and saw that it had a strip inside the straps that would prevent them from moving. The straps were ivory bows. It was very beautiful, but that didn't make them any less intimidating.

I picked up the other shoe with my other hand. This was a standard high heel but had a beautiful bead pattern trailing from the toes to the heels. This shoe, although no better, looked a little more secure. I put them both back in their respective boxes and shook my head.

"I don't think I could handle either one, Alice." She let out a loud frustrated groan. "I know, and I'm sorry. But can't I just wear flats?" Her hand was over my mouth again.

"I swear Isabella Swan! I can trust you with nothing!" Her eyes were wide.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"I forgive you because I love you." She said as she took her hand down. "But that doesn't pardon you from this reality. Make the decision or I will." She looked at me in all seriousness. In my stubbornness to avoid matrimony I had been given an easy ride when it came to decisions with the wedding. Alice had blissfully taken over everything with Esme and my mother. But here I had to make a small decision that really only affected me, and what was I doing? Being whiny. I took a deep breath and pointed as I closed my eyes, sealing my fate to the standard heel with the beautiful pattern.

"Beautiful! I would have chosen the sandal, but we all can't be completely fashionable." She said it as if joking, but sometimes I wondered. She got up and threw the shoes I had discarded into her closet. "I can use those later." She said winking at me. Whenever she said things like that I knew what she was talking about. She was thinking about what I would be like as one of them, as a vampire. Alice was banking on the fact that my change would surely affect my fashion sense in such a profound way that I would be like her or better. I sincerely doubted that, but I let her dream.

With that line of thinking I started to think about Charlie this morning. Edward had said he was thinking of me as a little girl. For some reason I had the sudden desire to know exactly that Charlie had thought and what Edward had seen. How did Charlie see me as then and now? What would he think of me if he knew the truth? If he knew I was going to become essentially a creature of the night? Something that Hollywood taught the world was evil? I knew there were evil vampires- I had enough experience with that subject. But would he think I was turning into something evil? That I was losing my soul like Edward feared?

I pushed the unpleasant questions out of my head. I was still living for the present today. I would make amends with myself and Charlie tomorrow. I swore to myself that I would do something special for him. Maybe I would make Grandma's stroganoff again for him.

After Alice replaced the other shoes in a hiding place in her closet she returned to sit next to me again. She smiled at me. She then took her hand and played with my long hair. I suddenly remembered what she had said about tonight.

"_You have later tonight to look forward to."_

My shyness immediately asked me to refrain from asking Alice about anything that might pertain to any private time with Edward. But the other part of me, the one becoming more confident if not more carnal, urged the question. I settled myself somewhere between the two.

"Alice, what did you mean about before?" I asked tentatively. She smiled at me.

"You mean about tonight?" She said quietly in her smooth voice. The way she had said it made me think it was some secret. I gulped and nodded. I then thought that Edward might be listening, but pushed it out of my mind. I didn't need to worry about if Edward would want me to know. Perhaps I would try to make sure whatever it was happen. I wasn't hoping for the central event that we seemed to be dancing around, but my excitement at the idea could not be denied.

"Well, I would hate to ruin it." She said folding her hands in front of her and looking up to the ceiling avoiding my gaze.

"What do you mean? What's going to happen?" I asked trying to get her eyes to focus on mine. Perhaps I could convince her with my glare. Fat chance, but I could try.

"You know, part of my ability is sometimes knowing when not to say something." She still evaded me with a coy, amused smile.

"Alice!" I said but it almost sounded like begging. I decided to do that as well. "Please. Please just tell me." Her eyes flickered over to mine for a half a second. She moved her mouth in a way that looked like she was considering it.

"Bella, I won't tell you exactly what will happen, but let's just say you will be very happy. But I do warn you. Slow and steady won the race." She smiled at me with such brilliance I was nearly derailed by her riddle.

"Slow and steady won the race." I repeated. "Isn't that from the Tortoise and the Hare?" I quickly ran through the child's story in my mind. The Hare had been terribly arrogant that he raced through the course. Before he reached the end he rested thinking he had plenty of time to finish the race before the tortoise did. He woke up too late to realize that while he slept the tortoise, being the faithful and determined creature he was, had crossed the line instead. My forehead wrinkled at the comparison.

"Just remember the slow and steady part, Bella, and you'll be fine." She patted my arm. "Esme is going to call you in three, two, one…" Her finger pointed to the door.

"Bella! Dinner is ready, honey!" I heard Esme's voice call. I gave Alice a sideways smirk.

"You love doing that, don't you?" She giggled.

"It really never gets old." She said as we both headed downstairs.


	9. Hello Shirtless

_**Okay. Ye have been reward for thy patience!!**_

_**So here is what Alice was warning about…heeHee!! **_

_**By the way I put something special in this chapter for HeSwamToFrance…or George. You have been with me from really the beginning and I just added something funny that reminded me of you. You will see it in the second paragraph. HeeHee. **_

_**Alright please leave a review and remember you can always request or suggest something by messaging or reviewing. Thanks!!**_

_**All Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **_

The rain had not let up throughout dinner as I ate in front of Edward, Carlisle, and Esme. I felt like I was a monkey in a zoo except I wasn't eating a banana. Instead I was eating the best hamburgers I had ever tasted in my life. How did someone who had not eaten human food for almost one hundred years know how to cook like this?

The rain did not let up as I learned more from Carlisle about the vampire world. The water pelted the enormous windows as he finally told the story of how and why he swam to France. When I asked him an expected question, "How long did it take?" He pulled his hand up to his chin and vaguely answered, "Not long."

The rain continued as Edward opened my door to his car to drive me home, and now here we were on the road. I watched as the lights outside lit up the blackness in the car. I saw the light refracting off the falling water and how it made a pattern on Edward and I. I squinted at the high beam lights of cars. Edward's eyes remained the same size not bothered by the intensity of the light at all. I looked at him in wonder. What was I doing with a vampire? I was riding in a car with a vampire. I was in love with a vampire. It seemed so strange to say even in my mind. To me he was so much more than this idea that had been unknowingly cemented in my mind about the concept of such a creature. I couldn't even call him a creature. That seemed not only cruel, but an understatement. He was deity, a being of perfection. So what did that make me?

I sighed and fidgeted in my seat still thinking about what Alice had said in her bedroom.

"_Slow and steady wins the race."_

What the hell was that supposed to mean? I was supposed to act like a tortoise? Yes, because that was intensely attractive. Edward noticed my internal distress and turned down the music that I had insisted be on. I had needed something to drown out my thinking, but I could see that was not happening.

"What's the matter?" Edward asked in a mixture of curiosity and concern. I found myself moving my head side to side in habit before I answered.

"Nothing. I just…I…" I couldn't finish my sentence. What did I want Edward to know? What didn't he already know? I knew he probably didn't grasp how frustrated I was becoming, in more ways than one. He probably didn't catch onto my guilt of being so anxious to cut off my former life to jump head long into the one I begged for. He also probably didn't have an idea of no matter how many times I denied it; some part of me (okay a big part of me) was scared to become what I desired. I tried to tell myself it was natural. How many life changes was I undertaking anyway?

"I know there's a lot going on right now Bella, but I'm always here for you." He said grasping my hand in his. That was surprising. Usually he was begging me for every thought in my head till I relented or found something suitable to say. Maybe he was more perceptive about my struggles than I gave him credit for.

"Thanks." I almost mumbled. At first I had wanted to spill every thought in my head about what I was thinking in exact detail, but then that might not be the best idea with Edward. I needed things from him that he felt insecure about giving, and the insecurity he had, in my mind, was unnecessary. I was just being the doubting, under-confident human. If he knew all my thoughts he would be the all denying and self control possessed superhuman. Wow, how complicated is that?

"Bella? What is it?" So much for the idea he was not going to ask me.

"Just a little…frustrated. Wedding." I said with a flick of my hand. He nodded up and down and seemed to take that as the issue.

"Alice needed something tonight?" He said with a crooked smile.

"So you were listening!" I said with a point of accusation.

"Of course I was. She has been very sneaky, and I'm more than excited to know the reason why." He said with a mischievous smile. Oh if I could bottle that and sell it to lonely women! I would be a millionaire, not that I cared. I got the real thing.

"Yeah well, you know how much I love to make decisions concerning that." I winced when I finished the sentence. I sounded like I was trying to decide how to kill a puppy. I had been trying lately to be very optimistic about the wedding-after all it was now unavoidable. I looked over to Edward's smooth face and saw the fraction of a sad frown. I didn't mean to make it sound so bad, but once again my foot in mouth disease was acting up.

"You know Bella, if this isn't what you want or you don't feel comfortable…"

"No, its fine. Really. I'm fine. I was just joking." He looked over to me. He had said it not as a guilty trip. He was honest and caring. He really did not want to make me do something I didn't want to. Who wants to be married with your partner under duress anyway?

"Are you sure?" His eyes examined my face as I answered.

"Yes. In fact the shoes I picked we're really nice." I closed my eyes and smacked my head with my palm. Yeah I was going to have this foot in mouth thing looked at. Edward gave a hearty laugh.

"So it was shoes? I had an inkling it was." He said with a big smile.

"Alice is going to kill me." I muttered angry at myself.

"No, she's not. First I could not allow that." He stroked the back of his hand against my cheek. I felt a blush rise despite my anger. "And she wouldn't because she desperately wants to parade you around that day. You know that's all it is, right?"

"What do you mean?" I asked confused. He sighed and looked out into the storm. We were on Charlie's street now. He pulled up behind my father's cruiser.

"She's been married. She's seen and helped with Rosalie's weddings, but nothing like this. She can't remember being human and those were…well vampire weddings. A lot of the trappings of human weddings aren't really needed for us. Plus she is so attached to you, so much more than anyone I know besides Jasper. She's really doing it out of a giving…"I gave Edward a look, "if not annoying heart. " We laughed lightly together. I let out a breath and nodded my head.

"I know that. I'm trying." He moved close to my face. His golden eyes sparkled at me and his smile enthralled me.

"I see that." He brushed my hair out of my face and trailed his hand down my cheek. He kissed me sweetly, and pulled away. Any anger, frustration, or anxiety melted into my bones and was replaced with my love for him. I hadn't notice that the rain had finally let up, and the quiet that filled the car didn't matter to me at the moment.

"In some ways, I really can't wait." I admitted to him. He smiled and looked down.

"Yes, I feel that way too." He looked up at me and kissed me lightly again.

"But then…I think one day, I'll remember nights like this when we were so filled with anticipation as some of the best nights of my life. There's nothing special about them, just you." I placed my hand on his cheek. My heart hammered in my chest.

The way he looked at me in that moment made me feel so open, like he was reading me like a book. It was like we had language only we knew, and not one word had to be spoken. I kissed him this time and I tried my best to convey how much I loved him. His lips moved with me in such a perfect harmony that I felt like my message was somehow understood. My hand ran through his hair and settled on his neck. He moved himself so that he had more access to me, and I wrapped my other arm around him. He pulled away smiling as I panted.

"Another perfect physical conversation." He joked.

"I'd say." I said with a wide smile as I tried calming my breathing and heart. He looked down again as if thinking about something he didn't want me to see. I waited for him to look back up again.

"Care to continue in your bedroom?" He said with a sly smile. I nearly jumped on top of him right there in the car, but I successfully restrained myself. Instead my heart reacted for me jumping from a mile a minute to breaking the sound barrier.

"I would." I answered in shaky voice, but I didn't move. I couldn't remember how.

"I should be back in about ten minutes. I have to get rid of the car." I knew he was talking I just couldn't hear what he had to say. Maybe I had come to realization that in a few short weeks I would be Mrs. Cullen. Wow…weird. But mostly it was that I was actually going to get what I want. I'm sure I was blushing just thinking about that.

"You know your side of the conversation would entail you going to your room." Edward teased me. I smiled and chuckled at myself. "I could carry you, if you're having difficulty. Although Charlie might get suspicious." He was just having a grand old time at my expense. I didn't care. He could be reciting the periodic table right now and I would find him desirable. I removed my seatbelt and gave him a quick kiss.

"See you up there then." I said hoping I sounded minutely seductive. I would settle for vaguely desperate though if I had to. I opened the door and forced myself out of the car. I was suddenly reminded of Alice's words again. A knot formed in my stomach. I looked back to Edward who watched me walk up the driveway and smiled. I would be a freaking tortoise my whole life if that meant I got to keep him.

I walked into the house with Charlie on the couch snoring loudly and the TV on. I finally woke my father up after a few attempts. He stumbled up stairs mumbling a good night. I heard him dress in his pajamas and start snoring with vigor. I giggled at the sound. Not only because it was just plain comical, but also because I knew he wouldn't be interested in checking on me for at least a few hours.

I looked at my alarm clock in my room. Edward had said ten minutes to drive his car back home and run back here, and I had about four minutes. I ran into my closet and pulled out silky pajama pants and tank top- no sweats tonight. I had more sense than that. I doubted I would get much sleep anyway, but that was a very good thing.

I lay on my side on the bed. How many nights could I remember Edward in my bed at night like this? How many times had Alice warned me about that? Never. That was certainly something to consider. I could hear my heart pounding mercilessly as I suddenly became nervous. I tried to remember her other words besides her warning.

"_Bella, I won't tell you exactly what will happen, but let's just say you will be very happy."_

I really wasn't sure what that meant. I tried to think of the things that would make me happy. I didn't have to go through with the wedding. No, I took that back. I knew how much that would disappoint so many people, especially Alice and Edward. I would hate to see that, and therefore that would not make me happy. What about our agreement? What if he decided again it was okay to not wait? Mmm…

I wasn't even sure about that. Would that be something that Edward regretted? Would that be something I regretted when I promised him I would wait? Okay so thinking further into the whole issue was not helping.

"Thinking deeply I see." He whispered lightly in my ear. He was suddenly lying behind me. I turned to see him. His eyes were bright and excited-like he had truly enjoyed his run. His jacket was off and his hair had a small sprinkling of water droplets on it. I moved my body completely around to him.

Suddenly I could think of nothing else, but that he was here. With me. For me. I smiled a small smile and before he could ask why I kissed him. My lips molded over his cold ones. I tasted his sweet scent on the tip of my tongue. My hands tangled in his damp hair, and our kiss became deeper. I hummed a moan caught in my throat we he leaned his body against me. His hands resumed a familiar position under me, holding me. I felt so safe and cared for there in his arms. I could imagine no better enjoyment than this.

He kissed me with a renewed fervor. He seemed to feel the same need I had. My head became dizzy as he kissed down my neck. His cold skin on his mouth and nose skimmed ever so gently along my warm skin. I felt myself gasp out quietly at the feeling. I arched my head so that I could kiss his neck. He tried to continue to kiss my own, but soon found himself too overcome by my touch. My touch overwhelmed him. I felt like doing a victory dance.

I kissed him from his ear to his collar bone. When I reached the edge of his collarbone I found his shirt in the way. I unbutton the top button and kissed him where the fabric had covered. I unbutton another one, perhaps trying to get better access, perhaps to test the limits. He did nothing. He did not still above me. He did not grab my hands. When I looked at him there was no warning in his eyes, or reprimand on his lips. I lay back on the pillow and looked up at him.

"You didn't stop me." I whispered to him in a thrilling confusion. He shook his head back and forth.

"No, I didn't. Not this time." He was completely serious, but I could see a smile in his eyes.

"What does that mean?" I asked as I settled my hands on his half exposed chest. He reacted for a brief second from my touch, but composed himself.

"I don't mind stretching the limits tonight, but..." I knew the warning was coming somewhere, "only stretching, not breaking." I smiled at him and pressed my lips together.

"Me? I would never dream of it." I tried to act innocent. The truth was I wonder if we would be anywhere in our physical conversations if I didn't push the subject.

"You trust me with your life. I trust you." He said quietly. His eyes burned into me with all the sincerity he possessed. I was taken back for a moment. I knew it was the truth, but it was so nice to hear. I moved my hands to third button on his shirt, and slowly unbutton that one. There was one last button and I could slide Edward's shirt of his perfect shoulders. Then as if my mind had to bring me back to reality to make sure my dream came true the warning screamed in my head again.

"_Slow and steady wins the race."_

I took a tiny second to wonder what Edward would think about me being taught about passionate patience by an old child's fable and his sister. I ran my hand up his sculpted chest and settled my hand on his neck. I pulled him closer to kiss him. He was now completely on top of me as we kissed. I could have fainted at the idea that he was nearly half naked, but I kept calm and kissed him as if it didn't matter. Maybe I would impress him one day with the information about how I learned to practice self control...like a tortoise.

One of Edward's hands came away from my back and ran through my hair. The other one held me tighter to him. We kissed for a long while like this. I slowed us down, surprising myself. I gently pushed him to the side. I knew I could not move him but he got the hint and lay in his back. I sat up and ran my hand gently along his chest again.

I couldn't get over how beautiful he was. What was more beautiful was the way his eyes looked to me with complete trust, and perhaps admiration. I wasn't sure. I finally unbuttoned the last button. My hand strayed to his stomach and he quickly took in a breath under my hand. I smiled lightly, still impressed that I could make him feel a fraction of what I felt under his touch.

I leaned across him. He watched every movement I made. I ran my hands up and down this new territory. I felt some primal need to claim as my own. No one would see or touch Edward like this. I wanted the world to know that, but that wasn't exactly possible, nor that wise. I lay my head across his bare chest and felt his cold skin on my cheek. I could feel whenever he breathed in. Or course I could not hear what most lovers would try to hear, his heart. I didn't even think about that in the moment.

It was the feeling of his skin that took away any thoughts, worries, or ideas out of my mind. I could not help when my warm mouth touched his cool skin on his chest, to kiss him. Another sharp intake of breath. His hands found my hair and he ran through it again. I kissed him again and again over his shoulders, collarbone, and chest. I felt him shudder when I kissed his stomach. I took it very slow and did not rush anything. I just wanted to remember exactly how this felt, and I wanted him to remember too.

I was surprised he suddenly was sitting up and had me in his arms. He held tightly as he kissed me with so much passion that I couldn't remember another kiss to compare it to. Self control evaporated because I was able in seconds to slide his shirt off. The moment it was completely off he froze. I breathed in expecting what he would say next. Instead of waiting for it, I pulled back from our kiss and held on to him. My hands could now roam over his bare back. There was one other time I held Edward like this. In a land far from here, in a time I don't care to remember. His arms wrapped around me and I felt protected from thinking of that memory.

He lay back and brought me to lie on his chest. I still held on to him as if I was afraid he would disappear. My heart swelled with so much love and contentment that I thought it sounded funny thrumming in my chest. After a long while of lying there, Edward finally spoke up.

"Well that was very…enjoyable." I giggled quietly at him.

"I should say so." I looked up to him. His eyes danced with so much joy. Then he frowned in concern.

"You must be cold." He tried to move the blanket between us.

"No. I'm fine. Please." I pleaded. I lay my cheek back down on his bare chest. He started humming me my lullaby. I don't remember falling asleep, but I remember waking up in the middle of the night to the blanket between us. I looked at him defiantly again and moved it out of the way again. I didn't care if I froze into an ice cube for the rest of my life. I was still living in the present, and right then nothing could separate me from him.


	10. Poptarts Can't Protect You

_**Okay, so last chapter was hot and all, but we all know that Edward and Bella don't sit around making out. **_

_**I know that this is supposed to be a bunch of fun love scenes and all, and I still think it is. But I could also consider this a character study in a way, or even filler for in between the third and fourth book. **_

_**I'm still not completely sure I want to dive into Breaking Dawn territory. I know if I did I would stop at the honeymoon, before things got weird. I'm not sure though. I'd love to write the wedding night mostly because I haven't found a fan fiction story that was really good. Most of them are so freakn' pornographic I feel like I have scrub my eyes. I'm not a prude (by no means) but I know smut when I see it.**_

_**Hey if you guys have any suggestions of good wedding night stories, please tell me. And I mean the ones that adhere to the novels. I have read love scenes from fan fiction outside the context of the series that have been good.**_

_**Okay, so once again if you have suggestions or requests message me or leave a review with it. **_

_**I would like to say that I can only write like this because my awesome husband, who is Edward (the best parts of him) incarnate. As well as my friend Nostalgicmiss. Girl, I've never met you but you've been a pretty awesome friend. You Rock!**_

_**Check me out on YouTube guys: JackieOrioncat **_

_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **_

School was out forever. Well at least for me. For a few years anyway. I'm sure I would have to attend school like Edward and his siblings whenever we moved. This summer would be my last as a human. By the time fall swung around I would be a vampire. I would be as beautiful as a model, faster than a speeding bullet (well, I'd like to think), posses super human sight and hearing, and also be utterly dangerous to the people I loved.

I could even technically be dangerous to my vampire family. I would be stronger than them- out of control. My thirst could drive me to do things I would never think of, but often dreamed of. Nightmares still haunted me, but I tried to keep them from Edward. I found myself keeping a lot from Edward lately. It was ironic since we were about to join our lives so irrevocably. We didn't think "til death do us part." We were talking about forever. For all time. Eternity. Infinity and beyond.

What would that be like? All I knew was that I couldn't be without him. I had that lesson learned in the bitter coldness of Edward's self imposed exile. It had not been that long ago. Even though things had changed so much from that time, it was still there. Still taunting me. Something could easily take him from me, or I from him. We were committing ourselves to each other, but we were also promising to never allow that undeniable mistake to ever occur again in any form. We could never leave one another for any reason.

But then…how easily I was convinced by my lovesick heart to leave my family. How simple it had been in my mind that I could not live without Edward, but in that thread it meant I had to abandon everyone else. Everyone. When I was a newborn, I could be too easily tempted to destroy and devour the people I loved so much. I did not want to think in literal terms, but I had often found my new vampire teeth on the neck of a loved one in my nightmares. My throat would burn from the desire of their blood, my thirst calling me to do unspeakable things. Sometimes I would be sobbing tears of blood in my dreams as I killed one of my parents or friends. Then there were the ones that struck such horror in my heart. These dreams presented me as a cold hearted killer. I would relish the taste of blood in my mouth. I would drink victoriously to their death, thinking nothing of the love I had held once for them.

I didn't know how to talk bring up these dreams to Edward or really anyone. Maybe Alice had seen that these dreams terrified me, haunted me. But she didn't say anything about it. I had thought of perhaps going to her with the dreams, but my pride stopped me. Or it was the fear that she would tell me the nightmares were right. That somehow I had become the psychic. I was just predicting in excruciating detail the deaths of the ones I loved.

I shook it off as I popped in my cherry pop tarts for breakfast. Edward sat quietly at the kitchen table watching me. I could feel his gaze on my back. He must have known something was wrong. He had to. I was sure I must have revealed something in my sleep. I could imagine it now. My screams as I realized just what I was doing- my pleas for the end of the nightmare. But he said nothing. He only stared at me now.

I turned around regretting how slow the toaster was. I couldn't keep my back to him the entire time. He would surely know then. I took a deep breath and tried to smile. He gave a small smile back. He didn't let me go. He kept staring. He knew. He had to.

The toaster popped and I found myself jumping at the sound. I grabbed the hot pop tarts placing them on a plate, and dragged myself to the kitchen table. He would let me eat. He would stare, and then he would ask. I knew this pattern. I invented this pattern. I was the reason it existed.

Edward was the only person I could be completely open, but my openness was incomplete. But then he had not been completely honest either. I would rectify myself with the idea that perhaps I didn't want to know everyone. Sometimes knowing everything came with too high a price. I didn't want Edward to know everything that came through my mind, and I still thanked whatever reason my immunity to him was.

Edward leaned against his arms on the table for a while as I finished the first pop tart. I was beginning to feel like I had last night at the Cullen's- monkey in a zoo. But then he leaned back in the chair crossing his arms over his chest. I tried to avoid looking at him, but it was so difficult. I knew he was troubled, and I wanted to comfort to him. In my sympathy I had forgotten that most likely I was the reason for that concern.

"Bella?" He spoke suddenly. I froze mid chew. I was expecting to hear the sound of his voice at any moment, but still it shocked me into stillness.

"Yes?" I said after a swallowed. I put down the pop tart and brushed my hands of crumbs over the plate. I had the need to hold my hands together in my lap. I would need the support to get through this. Depending on how much Edward knew, would depend on how honest I was with him. He gazed at me intently. I wished I could say it was dazzlingly but with my mood so profoundly affected it turned into something else. It was a gaze I feared; the one that seared through my skin and bore deep in my soul. It was something I could ignore for only so long before I broke under it.

He must have realized and had mercy on me, or perhaps he was unaware of his power, because he looked to the window. The rain from last night had started again this morning and now dripped in steady succession on the glass.

"If I asked you what you dream about…would you tell me?" His eyes were back on me. Apparently his mercy had run out. I had to stifle a gasp as I gauged how much he really wanted to know. He needed to know. I could tell this had been bothering him for some time.

"I don't know. I guess I would have to remember the dream…if I can." I looked down at the pop tart and brought my hands back to my meal that I was sure I could not eat now. It had been stupid to think that I could lie without doing something to distract myself. I held it in my hand but was unable to bring it to my mouth.

"Last night. What did you dream about last night?" His tone was soft, distressed. The way he breathed it out showed me even further how desperately he wanted to know, but I was still unsure I could tell him without some unforeseen consequence punishing me.

"Why? Did I say something last night?" I put down the pop tart only to pick it up again to appear casual. I took a bite of it as Edward watched me. I couldn't taste it; it could have been ash for all I knew. I chewed longer than necessary wishing that somehow he would drop the conversation all together.

"You said a few things." He said so quietly I almost couldn't hear him. So the conversation was definitely going to continue. I surrendered to the pop tart and put it down one last time. Breakfast was over.

"Like what?" I asked tentatively. He pressed his lips together and his brows furrowed. He almost looked like he was pained to remember.

"You called out a few times. I couldn't understand what you were trying to say." He looked down on the table. He took his hand and started to run a pattern over it. I followed his hand, memorizing his movement of his fingers. It reminded me how I had needed a distraction only a few minutes ago to talk. The rain picked up against the window and the wind blew around the house.

"That it?" I tried to sound calm, but I was anxious to believe that I had only spoken in the incomprehensible mumbles. He shook his head back and forth, not looking up. He took a deep breath and let it out before he continued.

"You started to talk about blood being everywhere. You started asking…no pleading with someone to stop. Then you started calling out "No!" and "Not this!" over and over again." His pained eyes met mine. "What were you dreaming about last night, Bella? Was it…was it about you and I? Did you dream about…"He couldn't finish. His eyes fell. My heart broke.

He thought I had dreamed he was doing those terrible things. I felt like dirt. I felt lower than dirt. Why couldn't I have just told him? He must have been thinking about this all night. I could hear the rumble of thunder miles away. The kitchen was so quiet the sound of it filled it totally, creating a vacuum. I felt like I was being sucked from the inside out.

"Oh God. Edward I'm so sorry." I started to say unable to contain my guilt.

"No it's okay. It's really to be expected. Those are my worst nightmares too." He said and then covered his eyes with his hand. I was stunned into silence. I wanted to cry. How could I have been so selfish to not have realized that he knew? More so, how could I have been so selfish that I didn't think about what he would have assumed it was about? I was too worried he was going to renege on our agreement. Too concerned about my own needs.

"No, Edward." I came to kneel at the side of him. His hand still covered his face. "You've misunderstood."

I took my hand to his and tried to move it. It was like trying to push a thousand pound rock. I lay my hand lay over his until he finally relented. His hand went back to the invisible patterns on the table.

"Edward, look at me." He paused considering it for a second, but he acquiesced. I swallowed deeply. "Edward I was dreaming about…me."

"I don't understand." He looked at me incredulous. I huffed out a breath.

"Lately, I have been dreaming about when I'm turned." His eye went wide. "Sometimes they are just me thinking what it will be like…well, to be like you. And then sometimes, it's my fears." I admitted with a shrug. God, I wanted this to sound so careless, as if it wasn't a big deal. But apparently it was because I was calling out in my sleep and Edward thought he was to blame.

"Your fears?" He said settling his eyes to more normal shape.

"Yes. Really deep, dark fears. Stuff that I would…I would never do, but fear will happen. I know you would never let it happen. I know you would protect me from doing something I would so wholly regret. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself." At that moment a flash of the nightmare came back to me. There I was with my teeth at my mother's throat; my hands around Charlie's neck.

"When I'm dreaming, I'm not being logical. I can't remind myself that you'll be there. I just see the horror of the idea." I felt my eyes filling and I looked away from him. The concern had grown on his face and it was just too much to bear. His cold hand touched my cheek. I breathed in and swallowed the threatening tears. I had to be strong about this. I had to show him that this was my decision and I could handle it. I wanted to be with him, no matter what.

"Bella." My name light and soft on his lips made my heart speed. He moved my face to look at him. "Bella, why didn't you tell me? How long have you had these dreams?"

"A few weeks. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to freak out. I'm sure this is normal." He looked at me with a doubtful expression.

"I mean if this was a normal situation. Think about though. It you knew what you were going to become before you became it; wouldn't you have dreams about it? Dreams that were illogical, and probably so wrong that they would never happen." What I was saying was making sense to me. I just hoped my confidence in my explanation convinced him. He looked down away from me.

"I still want this." I put my hand on his chest. "I want to be with you. I've made my decision. I'm ready." He looked to me then. He gave a heavy sigh.

"Bella, as much as I wished that you felt differently about that, I know you are not going to change your mind. And I've promised I would stop trying to change it. It's obviously a lost cause." He smiled a crooked smile. Perhaps my confidence before was dead on.

"I understand that you would be worried I would take back what I promised, but I won't. I couldn't break another promise to you." I saw the sadness in my eyes as they were mirrored in his. We didn't need to speak of what promise. We both knew of what he spoke of.

"With that said, Bella, you can tell me these things. If I can't stop you, then I want to help you through it the best I can. Whatever you want or need from me, I'll give it to you. No questions asked." He put his hands on the sides of my face. I smiled at him. I had heard exactly what I wanted…no, what I need to hear. I mentally scolded myself for wanting to keep this from him.

"I wish I could protect you from these dreams. Is there anything I can do?" There really was nothing he could do except exactly what he was doing. My heart beamed at the idea that he had reacted the exact way I needed and I didn't even know what I needed.

"I could settle for a kiss." I said with a bright smile.

"I'm serious, Bella." He said smiling with me.

"So am I. You are what I need. Exactly what I need." He kissed me then. It didn't need to be overly passionate or urgent. It was again what I needed. It was comfort, hope, acceptance, and most of all love. Exactly what I needed.


	11. Dancing Can Be Dangerous

_**Sorry for my absence. I have a chapter here and another one right behind it. I should update tomorrow as well. I hope you enjoy this!!**_

_**Please review. Remember if you have any ideas for the happy couple, Edward & Bella, please message me or leave it in your review.**_

_**Thanks very much!!**_

_**I own nothing. All Stephenie Meyer. **_

Edward had to go back home to get the Volvo and settle some details, he said. He gave a wide grin which gave me the impression that he was working on the secret honeymoon. I put my hand on my hip wishing he would tell me the location already, but too happy to see him enjoying himself to be a total pain about it. I might as well let him have his fun.

I told him not to worry about hurrying back because I had plenty of house work to catch up on. I didn't want to sound desperate, needing him here with me, but I wished he would stay. I didn't care if he just sat and watched me, just as long as he was nearby. My pride won that battle and I settled for veiled acceptance of our time apart. He smiled and gave me a sweet kiss before reminding me that I could listen to music now when I cleaned.

"I mean that is why I got it for you, you know." He mentioned the mp3 player he had forced on me. He promised that he had not spent any money on it- that it was one of older ones he had laying around. Then why did it look brand spanking new? I rolled my eyes at him.

"Okay, but its upstairs and I have stuff down here to do." I made the excuse for not using it.

"Oh well, I can help there." He was off then with a wicked smile. He was back in not two breaths with the player and plug in earphones in his hand. His smile still plastered on his face. Sure, beat me into submission with his miracle vampire abilities and damn smile. I gave him a sarcastic smirk.

"Thanks." I took it from his hand.

"Don't forget to listen to the playlist I made for this purpose." I huffed out a sigh as I put in my headphones. "I would just hate it to go to waste." I heard his muffled voice teasing. He gave me another kiss and then he was off.

I stood there for moment trying to figure out how to make the stupid gadget work. Roll this way, don't roll this way. Press this, oh crap how'd do I get out of here!? It was all confusing. Finally I was in the playlist section and I spotted the list he had been referring to. He had titled it simply "Bella's Cleaning Music." I chuckled as I pressed the button to start the music and continued scrubbing the dishes.

The first song was one I had heard in Edward's car a few times. It was catching and fun. I found myself moving faster with the beat. Actually, it was fun with music. I didn't feel like I was even cleaning. The second song was more energetic and I started tapping my foot to the rhythm. This playlist had been a great idea. I now wished I hadn't been such a mope about it.

I moved to the living room dusting everything and vacuuming. The music blared in my ears now. It seemed like anytime I would have gotten tired with cleaning he had picked a song that would perk me up. My head was now bobbing to the beat and I smiled as moved quickly around the house cleaning as efficiently as ever.

I climbed the stairs with so much energy that I tripped on one of the steps. No damage done, so I laughed at myself. I stripped Charlie's sheets off his bed and then moved to my own bed. Just as I was about to move the sheets completely off my tiny bed a new song started playing. This was hypnotic and excruciatingly fun. The lyrics were light, but they felt sexy. I giggled at myself for thinking that.

My hips suddenly started moving to the song. I froze. Had I just attempted to dance? I laughed and then looked around to make sure that I was there by myself. It took me a few moments to feel assured that I would not get caught. I tried moving my hips again. Sure, I had no idea what I looked like, but this song was begging movement from me. I started moving my feet, my shoulders and then my whole body wanted in on it. I could hear my voice muffled as I sung the chorus that I easily memorized. When the song came to the bridge I paused, laughed one more time, and gathered the sheets. I was quite proud that I had not injured myself in my little experiment, and the best part was no one was the wiser. And then I turned around.

"Ah!" I gasped out and dropped the sheets in my hands. My worst dreams had come true. The dream in which all my flaws and stupidity were deftly and inescapably viewed by the one person I absolutely dreaded to display them to. Edward Cullen.

"Edward!" I ripped the earphones out of my ears. He leaned against the threshold of my door, arms crossed and looking pleasantly amused. The only thought that ran though my head was this:

_**Oh God. It's over now. He's seen me dance.**_

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked hoping that he would say not long. That he would only admit to seeing me gather the sheets. But when his smile broke out wide on his face and his eyes danced with delight, I knew I was done for.

"Since after the first verse." He said almost as if he was proud. I knew had been blushing before, but now the blood didn't just feel like it was burning my face- it was boiling it off.

"Oh." I covered my eyes. Maybe this was a dream. Yes, a dream. I could escape the humiliation then, but when I removed my hand he was still there.

"I was able to take care of things more quickly than I anticipated." He moved slowly, for him anyway, towards me. I swallowed feeling like my flesh was sliding off my bones. I could have been standing there naked for how exposed I felt. I groaned out loud.

"You know that is really not fair. Sneaking up on me like that, and scaring me." I accused him with an obvious squeak in my voice. I felt like a child all over again- a terribly ugly, clumsy child who just did something entirely humiliating in front of the entire world.

"Well, it's not fair that you don't show those moves off when you're with me." If Edward Cullen could be compared to something at this moment it would be the devil. This theory was odd since he looked like an angel.

I glared at him. I wasn't going to forgive him. No, he couldn't be forgiven. This was beyond reproach. I was minding my own business and he snuck up on me. Sure I was doing something that I should never have attempted, but no. He was the wrong one. Stupid sneaky vampire.

And then my thoughts completely left me. His hands were on my hips, his body close to mine. My breath hitched and my eyes closed instinctively at his touch. My heart beat stopped and then picked up an irregular pattern to beat to.

"I really can't dance, Edward. I was just fooling around." I stuttered out. "I mean I'm barely coordinated." His breath washed over me and I found it incredibly hard to concentrate on anything, including my previous anger.

"I think this is a matter of confidence, not coordination." He murmured to me. His lips lifted up into a smile and I saw the sheer amusement in his eyes. Well at least he was enjoying himself. He laughed quietly and then let a grin completely take over.

"Hips don't lie, Bella." He moved my hips gently with his hands. I thought I would was going to lose consciousness. Maybe I was dreaming- if it was then it had just turned for the better. He leaned down to me and kissed my cheek. He lingered there listening to my heavy breathing. He moved slowly to the other side of my face and kissed my other cheek. His hands moved slowly to my waist.

"Oh God." I said under my breath.

"What?" He said against the skin of my neck as he placed kisses there as well.

"You…can't…do…that. I'll go…nuts." I managed to breathe out.

"Well I'm hoping desirable coercion will convince you into to confidence over your coordination." He pulled away slightly looking into my eyes.

"I might be seriously and hopelessly addicted to you Edward, but you will never see _**that**_," I waved my hands over my hips, "again."

"Mmmm." He hummed. I took a deep breath. I saw the rawest of determination in Edward's eyes. How cruel could he be? How devious was he going to get? I could see the thoughts behind his eyes. He was going to get me to agree to something, and I wasn't so sure I could resist.

"I would never demand an encore performance." His hands once more traveled to my hips. "I would like that to be something you want to do again." He smiled with hope that I would want to one day attempt to dance again. I felt his hands sliding up my waist and then my arms before they were on each side of my neck just under my jaw line.

"But I will ask something of you in this area." His breath once more ensnared me to listen to every word pouring from his perfect mouth. His voice was like silk running over my body. I suddenly had the desperate desire to please in any way he asked of me.

"And what is that?" I struggled inside of myself to be objective to whatever his request was, but I found myself wanting to scream the word yes to anything he said.

"At our wedding, I expect to dance with my wife." My stomach dropped to the floor. It wasn't the world wedding that had caused such a reaction; although my aversion to it was not completely cured. It was the word wife coming from Edward Cullen's lips. I'm sure bunny -rabbit would sound ravenously sexy coming from him, but the word wife took my breath away. I could hear every word he was would attach to this single one. I could hear hope, love, desire, respect, care, and hunger. I couldn't deny that I didn't understand the hunger myself. I found myself often feeling desperate with that feeling towards him, but to have the feeling pointed to me…by him. That felt like a miracle.

"Bella, breathe my love." I did as he told me and dragged in a ragged breath. "Will you dance with me as my wife, Bella?" There was that word again! Did he know what he was doing! He must because he now was going to get exactly what he wanted.

"Yes." I said weakly. I did not have a moment to regain my bearings because his lips were on mine in an instant. I woke up to them and moved urgently with them. I heard a quiet moan from Edward as my hands came alive to run through his hair. He moved forward and I found myself moving backward. It took me a moment to register it, but he was moving me to my bed. For the second time that day I lost my stomach to gravity. I knew dancing could be dangerous, but it seemed to be the right kind of danger.

_**HeeHee!!! Cliffhanger!! I know say it with me: I suck!!! No worries I will update soon. Spread the word. I would love for this story to get more face time. Much love!! **_


	12. Dazed and Desired

_**Okay I have the fun chapter right here my readers. I hope you enjoy this!!**_

_**Please remember to review or leave your suggestions in the review. If you have a situation you would like to see just tell me and I will try my best. **_

_**All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me. I'm just a crazed fan. **_

I felt my calves against my bed and Edward's lips on mine. I could feel nothing else. I really wasn't sure how I was still standing. His hands had lifted the back of my shirt up and settled on the small of my back. My hands were occupied with his hair. His tongue ran along my bottom lip. I was so overwhelmed by the feeling that I opened my mouth and moaned against his lips. Apparently this was too much for Edward though. I heard what I thought sounded like a low growl come from him. I felt his hands lifting me up as he still kissed me passionately. He lowered me on the bed and took his place over me. I couldn't even feel the bare mattress beneath me I was so dazed by him.

I had a second of recognition to realize how the situation had changed so quickly before his lips and then his tongue on my neck distracted me. I gasped at the sensation. My eyes closed as my head spun. The dizzy feeling I usually had when Edward touched and kissed me like this was intensified by the fact that it was daylight outside. I could see Edward's face more clearly. Charlie wasn't here so we didn't have to worry about being quiet.

My blood pumped through my veins as Edward pressed his body against mine. He kissed me harder than he usually did. I felt my body flush under his cold one. One of my legs managed to snake around his hip. I heard another rough sound from him when he suddenly grabbed my other leg and wrapped it around his other hip. Edward was rarely assertive, but, without shame, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

I had never been this close to Edward. His body was molded into mine, but still I wanted more. I unbuttoned his shirt quickly. He didn't stop me. He was still kissing me wildly. His hands had slipped under my back and in my hair. I managed to unbutton each button making his skin on his chest accessible. He stopped kissing my lips and moved to my neck again. I moved toward him and attacked his neck as well. I could feel how warm I was as I kissed and touched him. I tasted his skin and I felt him lower himself more toward me. It was as if he had not meant to react like that; like I had completely caught him off guard. He pulled away from me. It looked as if he was going to say the words that I dreaded to hear: I think we should stop.

I put my hands on each side of his face and kissed him with as much ardor as I could possess. I felt him relax once more. He heaved a shaky sigh when he pulled away again, but this time he did something that shocked me. He took off his shirt completely and settled against me again. I cannot put into words what that moment felt like. We had been overcome by desire for each other, but this moment it felt precious. We looked into each other's eyes as my hands slide from his shoulders down his back. I felt my heart hurting looking at him. For some reason I felt completely overwhelmed and I wanted to cry at the idea that he was mine. He kissed me softly and slowly. My arms wrapped around him drawing him even closer.

"Oh, Bella." He breathed out. "I don't know if I'll be able to stop if we keep going." Maybe he had meant it to sound like a warning, but it seemed to sound more like a confession. There was a strange mix of emotions in his words. I could hear the undulating desire to not stop. I heard the fear of going too far. But what I heard the most was the love he had for me. It felt so pure and absolute in that moment like it never had before. He looked at me. I felt like he was giving me a choice. I would be the one to end this. It frightened and excited me beyond measure. I couldn't think of what do or say. There was only one thing on my mind.

"I love you so much, Edward." I whispered. I swallowed deep and closed my eyes for a moment. I felt like I could cry still. "I love you so much it hurts." I realized then that we were breathing in synchronization, even though he didn't need to breathe. I watched as his excited eyes melted before me. It seemed like I was finally able to pinpoint the word intimacy in that moment.

"I love you, Bella. More than anything in this world." He brushed a stray hair across my forehead and smiled. "I truly cannot wait until you're my wife." He kissed me tenderly.

I felt as if something had changed between us. In a short time he had been teasing me, and then suddenly we were entangled in a most passionate embrace declaring ourselves once more. But this time was different. I felt as if a screen was lifted from my eyes. I could see the truth behind his words and actions. He loved me. He wanted me. All the doubts I had ever felt about that blew away.

His words came back to me from just a few minutes ago.

"_I don't know if I'll be able to stop if we keep going."_

I smiled at the thought that Edward would have kept going if I had not slowed us down. Had I done that intentionally? Perhaps my subconscious did. I was curious though how that situation would have proceeded. I heard him quietly chuckle.

"We are in a quite a compromising position, aren't we?" He smiled at me. It was as if something had possessed us to act with so much passion. It was exhilarating. My legs were still wrapped around him and his shirt was off. No one could have doubted what had been on our minds.

"You said something a little bit ago about not being able to stop." I mentioned as casual as I could, but I'm sure I blushed. He looked down and then back up to my eyes. I could see it there. The desire and even uncertainty of what he was feeling.

"Did you mean that? Would you have wanted to stop?" My hands slid up his back and into his hair. He took a deep breath that sounded uncontrolled. Why did that sound like heaven to me?

"I never want to stop, Bella." I stopped breathing when he said that. That truth thing was working overtime because now I could see he never really did want to. "But I know when we have to." He smiled my favorite smile at me.

"So if I had wanted to keep…going, you would have?" I was just asking a question, but I felt as if I was playing with fire. Perhaps that's all I did with Edward anymore; see how far I could push limits. But I really wanted to see if he really meant it. His smile faded into a serious expression.

"Probably." For some reason I felt the world shift in a completely different direction. I could have gotten exactly what I wanted, what I dreamed about. I thought about that and realized that even though I wanted to make love to Edward more than anything, I wanted to wait.

"What are thinking about?" He asked me quietly. I looked at him and saw for the first time how vulnerable Edward must have felt too. How exposed as well. We were going through this together, but sometimes I forgot that Edward had never gone through this either. It was hard to recognize that fact when he kissed or touched me at all. It seemed like he was expert already.

"I was just thinking that," I took a deep breath hoping I could muster courage to be honest. "Maybe that would have been the best moment of my life, but I'm okay with waiting a little longer for it. For you." I'm sure my face was crimson at that point. It must have been because he kissed both of my cheeks at that moment.

"You don't know how long I've waited for you." He smiled at me. "But I can wait a little longer too."

"I'm just curious about one thing though." I said playfully. My courage was still intact for little while longer.

"And what's that, love?" I concealed my smile the best I could and looked up at him. I tried to be a discreet at possible, but I couldn't help the hunger that still waited inside of me to be fed.

"If you would have continued…how would you have proceeded?" I sounded like a doctor talking about surgery, but I could see that my words or perhaps my unabashed desire for him had affected him.

"What do you mean?" Was he trying to play dumb? No, I think I could see in him reluctance to admit to his next move.

"What would you have done next if we weren't stopping?" I smiled now knowing I had him on the spot. In so many words I was wondering what he was thinking about when he realized he didn't want to stop. I was asking him what he had wanted to do. For a minute he looked away contemplating telling me. I thought perhaps I had gotten the best of Edward. I wish he could blush too whenever talking about stuff like this. That way I wouldn't feel like such a fool. But then he turned to me dazzling me with his eyes and smile. He was still confident and in control. I was the only blushing fool to be had.

"I would have taken off _your_ shirt." The deviousness he had now showed that he knew exactly what I had been doing, but curiosity took over despite embarrassment.

"And then after that?" I once again wanted to sound unaffected but my question came out with a shuddering breath. He moved his face closer to mine. The scent of him nearly drove me insane with yearning, not to mention the way he looked at me right then. One of his fingers lazily traced my collarbone up to my neck. He was playing with me again.

"I would have removed your bra." He was beyond devious now, he was downright wicked. The fact that Edward Cullen had mentioned my bra could have sent me over the edge right then. Had I even heard him say that word before? I didn't think so, but I knew I liked it coming from his lips. His finger was replaced by his lips trailing lightly along my collarbone and neck. I could feel him inhale my scent as well.

"And then?" I said barely above a whisper. His lips traveled across my neck and stationed themselves above my lips about a millimeter away. He was so close I could hardly see his smile, but I could feel it.

"I guess you'll have to wait until you're Mrs. Cullen." He murmured against my lips before kissing me with renewed fervor.


	13. Stroganoff & Charlie

_**Okay I have been thinking about writing this chapter from the beginning. I just started writing this today and just kept writing. I think it's like 4,000 words or something. So last chapter was really passionate and this chapter is more sentimental. I know not exactly a love scene, but I really wanted to write this for some reason. I kinda almost cried reading it back to myself. So warning!! You might get emotional. **_

_**So with that said please leave a review. And like I repeat myself a million times if you want a scene please just leave it in the review or message me and I will see what I can do. **_

_**To la saboteuse- Technically I have already written a Charlie walk in scene. It was in chapter 3: Occupations. I might try it again but really it is kind of not satisfying to do because Edward is a darn mind reader. He kinda knows when someone is coming. I get this request for them to be caught more than anything else. Do I have some exhibitionist lovers out there?? HeeHee!! **_

_**Alright all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, not me. **_

After Edward regrettably put his shirt back on, he let me finish cleaning the rest of the house. He determinately tried to help me, but I would not allow him. I only asked that he stay and talk with me as I worked. It helped get the work done faster. After I was done he watched as I got everything together for Grandma Swan's stroganoff that night.

I wanted to spend this evening with my father because I felt like I had been neglecting him. Everything was moving at the speed of light and soon I would have no time with him. I didn't know if that meant forever or a few years. No matter how many times I heard the Cullen's stories I still had no idea what that meant for my family. Every single one of the Cullens' family had assumed they had died when they were transformed. They didn't have the possibility to ever see or talk to them again.

My father would know I was alive, but I would be perpetually avoiding him. I would be the sad story of a daughter who gets married and never comes home again. I was becoming that girl I swore I never would be. It hurt beyond what I expected. I felt like I couldn't talk to Edward about it because I was still concerned about him backing out of turning me. I knew that he kept encouraging me to let him help me through anything, but I was still hesitant to. I heard his assurances that he would not renege on our agreement but the fear had been planted already.

No matter what pain I knew I was to endure emotionally, mentally, and physically I still was resolute in my decision. Edward was my life now, and that meant others were to be left behind. It was a sad, harsh truth but I had to accept it.

As I browned the meat for the stroganoff Edward stood close to my side leaning against the counter watching me. I looked up to him a few times as I turned the meat over with the spatula. Finally, I sighed out and gave him smile.

"You trying to learn how to cook now?" I asked him playfully. He chuckled at me.

"Well, it might help with the honeymoon." He said. His devious nature was showing anytime he mentioned anything about the honeymoon. Being in the dark about where we were going was incredibly hard for me. I was so concerned that Edward would spend so much money on a flashy locale that I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself. I would be thinking about the price of everything the whole time. But then again I wasn't really caring where we went on the honeymoon. I was much more interested in what we did.

I rolled my eyes and kept cooking. Whenever I would move he would move with me. He was making a great impression of a shadow. I wasn't annoyed with him being so close, but I was wondering the reason why.

"Are you going to miss me that much in a few hours?" I said trying to sound light and fun. The truth was I wasn't really looking forward to being away from him, even if it was for my dad. I loved Charlie and I really did want to spend more time with him before the wedding, but being away from Edward was physically painful. It was hard to be separated from him for any amount of time.

"Of course I'll miss you. I'm sorry. Am I bothering you?" He backed a foot away from me. I grabbed onto his shirt to not move further away. I abandoned the meat for a second and wrapped my arms around his waist. I lay my head on his chest and breathed in his scent.

"No, you're not bothering me at all." I said against his chest. I wanted to stay there forever instead of starting the long goodbye with my father. It really wasn't because I didn't want to spend time with him, but part of me wanted to stay in denial that I may never have another opportunity to spend time with him for the rest of his life.

"You worried about tonight?" He asked quietly as he stroked my back. I looked up to him. The concern in his eyes told me that even though he couldn't read my mind he had somehow realized what the issue was.

"A little." I admitted. He held me closer to him.

"I'm so sorry Bella. I know how hard this is going to be on you, and even on Charlie. If I could somehow change that for you I truly would." He kissed the top of my head.

"It's okay. I just…" I was interrupted by the sizzle of the beef cooking. I needed to turn it over. I moved away from Edward's arms but he would not have it. He gripped me tighter as if he could not stand the idea of letting me go. I laughed at him.

"You know I have to cook dinner, and that will be hard conjoined to you." Even though my mood was low his smile back at me made me feel so much better.

"It can be easy." He lifted me onto his feet like he had when we danced at prom. He walked the two steps to the stove with me in tow. "See." He grinned proudly.

"Very clever." I said as I turned the beef a few times before lowering the temperature.

"Now what were you saying." Edward encouraged. I took a deep breath and tried to remember this morning when he had been so understanding about the dreams that I had been having. I wanted to be able to share my fears or thoughts about all the things that were going on and the things that were to come.

"I just…I wish…I…uhhh!!" I exclaimed frustrated with myself. I couldn't even express myself properly. Edward held my face in his hands and looked at me with sincere compassion.

"It's okay. Just tell me what you want to." I watched his eyes for a long moment making sure that he was being completely open to my concerns, and not looking for an opening to place doubt into my mind. I knew it was wrong, but I had become so accustomed to convincing him that changing me was the future. I didn't realize that all the effort had zapped our opportunity to bond over the prospect.

"I don't…" I took a deep breath and tried again. "I don't want Charlie to be alone." I said lowly. "I feel like I'm being so selfish, but I can't help it. I know most kids grow up and away from their parents, but I'm not doing that necessarily. I'm almost abandoning them." I looked up and saw his brow furrowed and the old fear washed over me.

"But I still want this. I really do." I said pathetically.

"Bella, I know that. It's perfectly acceptable for you to have these feelings. But you are not abandoning them. You love them and you are making a very mature decision to stay away from them for their welfare." He didn't argue with me. He didn't say I told you so or try to convince me out of it. It was a strange thing to behold. I stared at him incredulous.

"What?" He asked. I shook my head back and forth.

"I'm just used to you, I don't know, trying to get me to not change. I just am trying to settle with this new Edward." He chuckled at me. He dropped his hand from my face and held my hands.

"I told you that I wasn't going to do that anymore. You have made your choice, and I support you. Even if you decided to not change I would support you as well. I'm done trying to control the decisions you make. You make it a very tiring job." I smiled at his joke and looked away from him. My smile could not stay long.

"I just need to know Edward." I paused a moment and then looked back to him. "I need to know that if I cry or fall apart or whatever that you won't take that as I've changed my mind. I need to know that you will just be there for me, that's it."

"I think I can do that." He held me and I felt that he meant it. I looked at the clock. Charlie would be here soon. I pulled away and stood on my toes to kiss Edward. After a few moments of bliss he pulled away with a smile.

"Alright, you have food cooking." It sounded as if he was sorry that we could not have a repeat performance of this afternoon. I bit my lip at just the memory, and a coy smile plastered on my face.

"Are you thinking about what I'm thinking about?" I asked slyly if not bravely. He shook his head at me.

"You don't want to know what I'm thinking." He said with a heavy sigh.

"Yes, I do." I countered back.

"Bella, cook." He turned me around to finish preparing the meal. I laughed out at him. Then he surprised me by putting his lips against my ear.

"I thought I was supposed to be the mind reader." He whispered. I closed my eyes as the cool sensation of his breath sent shivers down my spine.

"Can't win them all." I choked out. He chuckled and then left me to lean against the counter again.

I tried to compose myself as I collected the other ingredients for the stroganoff and started combining them into the pan. It was hard to concentrate especially with the knowledge that Edward was thinking along the same line as I was. That was always dangerous.

"So what are you going to do tonight?" I asked with a breezy tone. I was trying desperately to release some of the tension that was thick in the room.

"I think Alice wanted me a few hours tonight. She wants to run a few things by me." He said crossing his arms looking bored at the prospect.

"Wedding stuff?" I tried not to make the word sound disgusting this time.

"And honeymoon stuff." He said smoothly. I felt my heart pick up again and I could feel the shivers that had just been down my back revisit me again.

"Oh." I cleared my throat. I couldn't even think of the word honeymoon. I was beyond desperate now. "And after that? Going to see you're other girlfriend?" I said mockingly.

"Yes, I suppose I should spend some time with the Vanquish." He said with a dramatic sigh. I laughed at that. "When will you be done with Charlie?"

"I don't know." I felt as if my balloon of happiness was deflating again. It was an emotional and hormonal roller coaster in my life anymore. "I'm guessing before ten. I don't see him too interested in talking to me beyond that. I'm sure he'll start having ESPN withdrawals." I could feel the frown on my face, but I couldn't move it. The idea of saying goodbye seemed to be getting harder and harder. The thing was that I couldn't tell Charlie that this was goodbye, and I was bad enough at goodbyes that I could admit to. I had already said my goodbye to Jacob. It was hard to lose him. What would it be like to lose Charlie? Or Renee? And this is what my life would be for the next few weeks? Heaven mixed in with Hell.

"Are you going to be okay tonight?" Edward asked. I nodded up and down looking at the food in front me as I stirred it.

"You're going to be here afterwards right?" I asked suddenly. I was desperate in many ways for Edward. Tonight would not be what I normally wanted. I would need comfort tonight. I would need the security in knowing that I was making this decision for the best reason of my life. I would need to be reminded that was I giving up a lot, but I was gaining so much.

"Of course." I instantly felt relieved for some reason. I knew he would be there, but hearing it felt so safe.

"Then I'll be fine." I faked a smile the best I could. Edward looked away from me towards the door.

"He'll be here in five minutes." He announced as he pushed himself off the counter. I cut the heat off the stroganoff so it could sit and thicken up. I walked over to him and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm always here, Bella." He said and then kissed my hair.

"I know. Thank you." I responded meekly.

"Thank you for letting me in." It had been hard to let my guard down with him, but it felt so good to do it. I looked up to him and gave a genuine smile this time.

"I love you."

"As I love you." He kissed me gently. I didn't need every kiss to be filled with the passion of the ages for him to make me feel dizzy. Every kiss was filled with his love and that was enough to get drunk on.

"I'll see you later." He said when he finally let me go and walked out the front door and drove away. He had timed it perfectly so that Charlie would not know he had been here, although I'm sure he would suspect it. I heard the door open.

"Hey, Bells." Charlie called out. "Man that smells wonderful!" He suddenly exclaimed. He was a sucker for Grandma Swan's stroganoff. He came into the kitchen still sniffing as if he couldn't get enough of it.

"Hey Dad." I turned to him and smile. It was easier than I thought to put on happy face for him. He seemed authentically surprised that I had made his favorite meal.

"Mmm. My favorite." He reiterated for the thousandth time in my life. I chuckled at him. He looked like a little boy who had just got into a candy store.

"Um, I know that Monday night you usually eat in the living room, but can we have dinner together at the table?" I asked innocently. He looked at the table and to me and then back to the table.

"Is something the matter?" He asked seriously. Of course Charlie would think that I was springing something on him. Well, that was probably my fault. How many times had I made this dinner for him when I had something to tell him he would not particularly enjoy?

"Nothing's wrong, Dad. I just wanted to spend time with you." The football season wasn't until the fall so I knew I wasn't keeping him from any major sports event. He seemed relax at what I said but then confusion fell on him again. I must have been neglecting him longer than I thought.

"That'd be great." He smiled and then set himself at the small dining room table. I brought our plates to the table. His portion of stroganoff was a mountain compared to mine.

"So how was your day today?" I started with something easy. Charlie then told me in between bites an amazing detailed account of how he'd spent half the day picking on speeding teenagers, and the other half playing poker with Deputy Mark. Even though it was topics that usually held no fascination I found myself enthralled with anything he said. I realized in the time that I was never going to have this again. The simple days of his life would never be mine, and soon I wouldn't even be able to hear about them.

"So what did you do today?" He asked me as soon as he was done with the story of how he won the last hand of poker.

"Cleaned and just hung around here. It was kind of nice just doing nothing." I shrugged.

"Yeah, it's been real busy for you for awhile." He almost said with sympathy. "I mean you graduated, and you're going to go to college. Plus with you getting married." He voice trailed off as he said the last word. Suddenly the dinner felt uncomfortable. He looked at me appraising my mood. I tried to be as calm and open as I could. He put his fork down on his plate.

"Bells, I just wanna ask you something. I know that you have already told me, but I'm your father. I just really want what's best for you." He took a deep breath as if he had never asked the question I knew was coming. "Are you absolutely sure? I mean you've made a few plans, but you could always wait."

"Dad…"

"I know you get mad at me when I ask you this, but I just want to make sure. If you ever wanted to get out of this I would make sure my girl got what she wanted." I smiled despite my inner voice wanting to scream at Charlie saying I was positively sure. Maybe this situation wasn't perfect in many ways, but it had showed something to me that had become slowly apparent over the last few years. Charlie truly loved me. There was something about the way he said "I would make sure my girl got what she wanted" that made me want to hug him. Just like Edward would burn the world for me, I believe Charlie was close behind.

"Thanks Dad. But I'm absolutely sure. I love Edward. I've made my choice and I really do want to get married right now. I know you think we are young, but I know this is the right choice." I offered this statement with as much polite firmness as I could muster. He studied me for a moment looking for any cracks in my resolve. Finally seeing that there were none he slowly nodded his head up and down.

"Okay. I believe you. I won't ask again." He then picked his fork back up and took a few bites. After a few minutes of silent eating he changed his demeanor completely. "So you excited then?" For some reason I was a little surprised by the question.

"Uh, I guess so yeah. I mean I'm not doing too much about the wedding which is nice, but I'm not really looking forward to being all dolled up and paraded around like Ms. America." I with a kidding tone.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want that either." Charlie said off handedly.

"Um, yeah. I hope not Dad. Otherwise I would be a little worried." I chuckled with him as he got what he had said.

"Yeah, that wouldn't be good." He said with a big smile.

"Well, I don't know Dad. Do you know the pageant wave? You'd look great!" He gave a hearty laugh then. He even tried to imitate the wave which threw me into a fit. After we calmed down, he gave me a heartbreaking look.

"I'm really going to miss you around here, Bells." I was quiet. I couldn't speak fearing that I would say something too emotional. I took a deep breath anyway and tried.

"Me too, Dad."

We cleaned the kitchen up together talking back and forth about old times. I would only realize the reason I had pursued this time every once and while. When I did realize I would take another breath and push back the emotions. Charlie made it easy to forget. He seemed so excited that I had wanted to spend so much time with him. He chattered on about numerous things from funny cop stories to what he was like as a kid. I learned more about my Dad that night than I had almost my entire life.

We spent the rest of the night in front of the TV watching ESPN. Charlie tried to explain to me a few of the rules of baseball, basketball, and football. It was like he was speaking Greek but I would nod my head and repeat what he said every other rule. It wasn't really about me tonight I concluded. This was a goodbye for Charlie not to Charlie. He needed this just as much as I did. He would cherish this night more than I could for an eternity.

It was ten-thirty before I noticed the time. I looked up instinctually to my room. I wondered if Edward was there already waiting for me. I watched my Dad for a little while longer as he clapped or cheered after hearing a certain team had done this or that. He looked so happy and content. It was the simple life he wanted and deserved. If I stayed anywhere near him I could be the thing that stole that away from him. I could steal his life from him. I felt my eyes blur my vision. I swallowed hard and cleared my eyes.

"I'm going to go to bed." I finally said even though I didn't move off the couch. He immediately tore his attention from the TV screen. I didn't know Charlie could tear his attention away from it so fast, and it had been for me.

"Oh." He looked at the clock. It was ten forty-five. "Wow, it is late." He looked back over to me. His face held a half smile. "Thanks for spending so much time with me. It was a lot of fun, Bells." I stood then and started up the stairs. When I reached the middle of the staircase Charlie spoke again.

"How do you know it's out of bounds in football, Bella?" He quizzed me. I paused on the stair and smiled as I rolled my eyes.

"When the player is on or over the white line." I answered back.

"And how many points does a touchdown give a team?" I racked my brain on this one. I had been through the gamut of three sports and their rules. I couldn't remember if it was three points or six points.

"Six points." I barely heard the whisper from Edward, and I could tell that Charlie hadn't heard it at all.

"Six points."

"That's my girl!" He pumped his fist in the air as if I scored a touchdown myself.

"Good night, Dad." I said in an amused tone.

"Good night, honey."

When I opened the door Edward was standing in the middle of the room. He eyed me cautiously trying to see if I was upset or not. He knew how well I could manage to hide my emotions from Charlie, but I couldn't do the same with Edward.

"I'm fine." I answered his silent question.

"Are you sure?" He asked tentatively.

"Yeah." I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the bed. I lay down with him. "Just hold me, okay?" He did as I asked. It was truly revealed that night the father that I was giving up to be with Edward, but still that did not change anything. I still was going to become a vampire. I was still leaving. I could never word the unworthiness I felt for the love the people in my life had for me. All I knew right then was how much I was truly loved by the two men that were in my house at that moment. Men that had that had protected, comforted, and loved me. I cried as softly as I could in Edward's arms.


	14. Bella hearts Football

_**Hello all!! Yes I know I suck!! Sorry…I have had to deal with so much lately. I have been backtracked on everything not just fanfiction. I have been sick and just unable to get out of those depths. This Christmas season has been excruciatingly unpleasant and I am more than happy to see the holiday pass by. Here's hoping for next year!**_

_**Please leave a review. You can always message me or leave any request or suggestions in your review. If you have an idea…I want to hear it!**_

_**Thanks so much!**_

_**I own nothing…Stephenie (the Mighty Creator) Meyer does. **_

_**I got this idea from reading the partial draft copy of Midnight Sun provided by Stephenie Meyer on her website. At first I thought of abstaining from looking, but temptation won out. Down below you will see a direct quote from the draft. **_

_Emmett had left a note stuck on the newel post….Football at the Rainier field-c'mon! Please?_

_**Enjoy!! By the way the stupid filter won't work in my F-ing favor so I will have to do this different...If you text you know how to make heart and what it looks like...so there. Sorry.**_

The next morning I woke up to a bright light against my eyes. I winced at it when I realized that it was not fleeting. Suddenly, a shadow passed over blocking the light. I slowly opened one eye to find out what had blocked the light.

"Oh." I said as I looked at Edward's hand about a foot from me trying to shield the sun's rays from the thinly curtained window. I could see the light refracting off his skin causing sparkles to light the room further. I turned to his smiling face.

"I'm sorry." He said dropping his hand when he realized I was truly awake, along with the fact that he was generating even more light with the sun.

"What? Sorry that you can't control the sun?" I joked in my groggy voice. He chuckled lightly.

"Well that would be something to be sorry about." He grinned at me. His face then slowly dropped as he traced the dried river of tears on my face. "I was hoping you would get enough sleep this morning. You were up late last night." My memory flashed back to me clutching Edward as I quietly cried into his chest. I turned away from him somehow feeling guilty that I had subjected him to another night of emotional breakdown.

"I'm sorry about that." I said sighing out the last of the sadness. Last night had been very hard to sort through. I had so many emotions boiling in me that I could hardly keep my head above the wave of each one.

"Please don't be." I looked back to him. "I don't want to be shut out." He continued softly.

"Okay." I whispered to him. The sincerity in his eyes was breath taking. "Thank you." He nodded once. I stretched out and then curled into him. He held me close as he rubbed up and down my back.

"What time is it anyway?" I inquired.

"About eleven."

"Eleven!" I said sitting up against his chest. "Is it really that late?" I looked over to the alarm clock on my nightstand.

"Did you have plans I was not aware of, my love?" He questioned with a laugh. I lay my head back on his chest.

"No. I just don't like sleeping in so late. It starts a pattern. I'll be up late tonight." I said wishing that I had paid attention to how late I had stayed up the night before. Suddenly I was on my back with Edward leaning against me.

"I suppose I will have to tire you out then." The wicked smile was once again prevalent. He kissed me gently but he had to have known I would press for more because I could feel his lips smile at my enthusiastic response. After a few moments of familiar bliss he pulled away with a shameless smile.

"I suppose it is rather useless thinking of keeping this bed, but some part of me wishes to. The best nights of my life have been spent here." He gently tapped the bed with his hand as if petting it. I laughed out.

"Yeah, well also the most frustrating." I answered ruefully back. He bit his lip in consideration and then finally relented.

"Touché." He brought his hand to cradle my face. "Not for long though." He replied wistfully. And then our potential moment of releasing said frustration was ruined. I heard Edward's phone buzz in his pocket. His head fell and he groaned.

"Damn you, Emmett!!" He growled reaching for the phone.

"Ditto." I said pushing myself up on the bed. I watched as he quickly read the text message his brother had sent him.

"He's been at this all night." He quickly typed a reply too fast to be human.

"What's he want?" I asked running my hands through my bed head. I'm sure I looked absolutely charming mirroring Medusa's locks.

"There's supposed to be a thunderstorm later near Rainier. We usually go out there and play football, but I turned him down last night. He's still arguing about it with me." He shoved his phone into his pocket again.

"Well when's the last time you played?" He made a face when I asked him this. "A few months?" I guessed. He shook his head slowly. "How long has it been Edward?"

"About two years." He admitted. I must have made a face of disapproval because he felt he needed to defend himself. "I had good reason. The last time this came up was when…well when I was watching you." His eyes left my gaze to study my bed spread.

"When you watching me?" I had an idea of the time period he meant, but I wanted to make sure.

"Before we…before we were together. When I was making sure nothing happened to you." He gained some confidence back from his admission. I know that his family thought he was crazy at the time because he was seemingly pursuing this random girl who happened to be his blood singer. They started to believe he was developing a stalking tendency or a hero complex. However, they had no idea how much protection I really needed. If Edward had not been watching me the night I went to Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica I would be another rape/murder statistic. No matter how uncomfortable the thought was that I was being watched in all my clumsy glory by Edward, he still had saved my life that night. Not to mention all the other times he had saved my life.

"Okay so you couldn't go last time because of my dangerous human luck. What's stopping you this time?" He shrugged his shoulders.

"I just wanted to spend some time with you." He answered simply. For some reason I felt like he should be able to spend time with his family before the wedding just like I was. The only thing that was different was that it was oddly more comfortable for me to accompany him when he was with his family than with mine. It was also relaxing in more ways than one because we both weren't hiding something from his family.

"But you can spend time with me and your family. I really don't mind watching. I mean the last time I watched a Cullen's' gone wild sporting event we were rudely interrupted." Edward flinched at the memory of when James had first seen me, therefore setting off events that neither of us wanted to revisit. "But I haven't been able to see you guys like that since. Why is that?"

"Baseball is one thing…but football can get pretty rough."

"Yeah, I watched football with Charlie last night. I'm sure I can keep up, and keep out of the way." I said confidently. Suddenly the idea of the game I watched last night transferred onto what the Cullens were capable making it sound downright interesting.

"I'm not sure if you can grasp the difference of what you watched last night to what sort of spectacle we will make it." Edward said running his hand through his hair. He seemed very reluctant with the idea of be being anywhere near the game.

"Yeah, spectacle would be a good word for what I expect." I said with a smile hoping he would see that I was unafraid of seeing what his family could do.

"Ah!" He groaned. "It's just like you to think everything thing I say is meant to be a good thing. When I say spectacle…the guys can get really rough. And really Alice and Rosalie are no better, but it can get very loud and…aggressive." He continued before looking down and then up to me with chagrin. Wasn't football loud and aggressive for humans too? Did he want me to be scared of what I might see?

"Okay, I understand that. Would I be in any mortal peril observing this game?" I asked cautiously.

"Well, you're always in mortal peril." He flashed a joking grin. I made an unpleasant face.

"You know what I mean." He chuckled a little and then took a moment to think about it.

"I don't think so. If you were there I would ask that they not play with so much abandon."

"Would that ruin the game for them?" I asked considering a very disappointed Emmett.

"No, not necessarily. In fact it might prevent some cheating." He replied wryly.

"So can we go?" I pushed with excitement. Maybe I really needed to just get out and have fun, or perhaps this strange vampire exhibition was the lure, but I was generally eager to see Cullen football at its finest.

"Yeah, I guess." He rolled his eyes. I chuckled at him but it was cut off when we heard another vibration from his phone along with Edward's angry sigh. He pulled it out of his pocket once more.

"What he say?" I tried peering at the phone. Edward handed it to me.

_C-mon Eddie!!!_

_I (heart) U Edward!!_

_Show me some love_

_& play some football!!_

_-Em _

I giggled at Emmett's love declaration.

"Wow, he's desperate!!" Edward laughed with me. "Can I text him back?" He shot his eyebrow up.

"Do you know how?" I wanted to hit him but I knew that would hurt me more than it would hurt him.

"Hey! I'm not completely technologically inept!" I said sourly.

"Then by all means." He replied with a flick of his wrist and then leaned back on the bed with his hands under his head. I glanced back at the phone and realized that it was very different than my own. I was sure that I could do this with little to no help though. I nodded my head as almost an assurance to my inner dialogue. I could hear Edward faintly chuckle at the act.

I pushed on the button that displayed itself as REPLY. It then opened a new window for me to begin my message. I had an idea of what I wanted to respond with, but I then came to the conclusion I needed help on one small thing.

"How did Emmett make the heart?" I turned to find Edward smiling smugly at me. "Don't make that face. I really know how to text! I just never saw the heart thing before."

"Are you going to declare love to Emmett as well?" He joked before sitting himself up.

"I might think about it." I couldn't even make the thought sound threatening. He knew that because he smiled too wide.

"I'm sure Rosalie would thoroughly enjoy that!" He tried to grab the phone from my hands, but I moved.

"No I still want to do it. Just show me." He sighed out in frustration at my stubbornness.

"Get used to it, Edward. I have a very independent streak."

"Yes, your tenacity is well documented." He chuckled. I stuck my tongue out. "Don't tempt now." Finally he showed me the button that would bring up another window that displayed numbers and signs. He showed me the number and sign I would need.

"Thanks." I said politely to him and then turned back to the phone screen. He resumed his space, lying back on the bed as I began typing.

_No Em, _

_I (heart) Edward more!_

_Cut him some slack!_

_We are coming…_

_-Bella_

And with that I pressed send.

"Proud of yourself?" Edward asked sarcastically.

"Yes. Its times like these that I show the world that Bella Swan is worth something!" I responded back with a dramatic flair.

"Bella…" Edward had a warning in his tone. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I know, Edward." The phone vibrated in my hand. "I guess vampires can do anything at super speed." I commented not thinking, and then I found myself turning red as a decidedly inappropriate thought ran through my head. I tried to hide my overwhelming blush over my blunder of words, but I think Edward knew. I could not be certain, for I dare not turn around, but I thought I heard him stifle a laugh.

_Sweet!!_

_Does Bella (heart) football?_

_-Em_

I quickly replied still reeling from my burning cheeks.

_Yes_

I sent it back quickly unable to think of a witty retort. My humiliation had stolen any creative initiatives. I looked back at Edward who was staring up at the ceiling, his smile still firmly intact. I knew somewhere in Edward there lay a man less of gentleman who was trying to find a way out to tease me, but Edward was countering his escape attempts. The phone vibrated again, showing once more the super speed of vampires. Edward closed his eyes tightly as if losing his ground to the part of him that was less of a gentleman. I turned away and read what Emmett wrote.

_Awesome!_

_Then Em (heart) Bella!_

_See you there at 7:30pm!_

_-Em_

I felt Edward move to read the reply over my shoulder. He laughed out loud this time.

"Well, I guess you didn't have to declare your love for my brother after all. I'm sure Rosalie will enjoy this so much more!" I would have laughed with him if I hadn't come to the conclusion that Rosalie would be entirely bitter at the whole exchange. Perhaps tenacity was a better word for my independence. At least Rosalie and I had that much in common.


	15. Tricking the Cheerleader

_**Okay so I was hiatus from story writing and YouTube posting. I still am on hiatus from YouTube at the moment but writing I have managed to fit it. It was like a little bit of therapy. **_

_**I would like to give a heartfelt thank you to all my readers and YouTube viewers. You have truly been such a cheering force in my dark little life at the moment. To have your support and love has been such a great grace on my heart. It's nice to know that one's effort is not wasted on an ungrateful audience. **_

_**I'm still taking requests for YouTube and for this story. Please message me or leave any requests in a review. I thank you so much again!!**_

_**I do not own Twilight, the Creator Stephenie Meyer's does and I hope she is laughing all the way to the bank. **_

_**I hope you all enjoy and I would love to hear a review from you! Thanks! **_

The day was spent comfortably around my house before we headed to Rainier. We watched a movie and I emailed my mom with some final details for her to deal with before the wedding. She would be in Forks in a matter of weeks now. I would love to say that I was never tempted to seduce Edward into any romantic situations during the day. To be honest as much as I was willing to enter in said situations I was also a little nervous too. Edward had never admitted to me that he would make love to me if I had asked him to before that day in the meadow, and then yesterday in my bedroom. That power although welcomed was also very scary.

It was honestly the only experience I did not want to give up for immortality, but being mortal still I retained little to no courage in the general area. I also found myself having absolutely no bravery when Edward initiated anything. I knew this was strange because you would think I would be apprehensive whenever I had to put myself out there, but usually I would be overcome with acute desperation to really react to fear. Whenever the heat came from Edward, I would succumb to some kind of strange stage fright. It was beyond disconcerting.

I was thinking on this subject as we made the small road trip to Rainier. It would be about an hour drive to the fields. Edward would look often over to me. I think he wished I displayed what I was thinking or feeling on my forehead. I think he would pick any alternative if he wasn't crippled by his failure to read my mind. When he looked over the hundredth time I laughed at him. His head snapped back into place.

"You know, curiosity killed the cat." I teased him.

"Good thing I'm not a cat." He mumbled loud enough for me to hear him. I laughed at him again.

"You want to know then?" I edged close to my courage quota for the day. The heat on my neck warned me of a possible humiliation disaster looming ahead.

"You know I always want to know." He gave a dazzling smile.

"I was thinking about what you said earlier." I said feeling my courage leave me in an alarming rate.

"What did I say?" He looked over puzzled. Maybe he should be allowed to read my mind. That way whenever I get myself into stupid, embarrassing situations that I wholly underestimate then he would know exactly what I meant.

"About if I asked you…that you would…you know…" Wow. I felt like a twelve year old referring to sex as "it".

"That I would make love to you." He said so effortlessly confident. Damn self assured vampire!

"Yeah, that." I responded pathetically. I looked over to him as he concealed a smile. "Are you laughing at my innocence? Because I can display my non-innocence." The threat was so baseless it was sad. What would I, Bella Swan, do to dissuade thoughts about my pathetic inexperience?

It wasn't like I wasn't happy about that. I was more than glad that Edward would be the only one I shared something so intimate with. But at the same time he was the last person I wanted to look stupid in front of. Win some, lose some.

"I'm not laughing at you, and believe me you have displayed your…non-innocence in the past." He said with a wicked smile that was astoundingly sexy. And here comes the blush.

"No, I was laughing at the fact that we are talking about it so openly. I can remember skirting the subject for so long that it's almost refreshing to talk about it with you." He sounded so genuine and heartfelt. I was happy that I could finally word anything involving sex, especially speaking about sex with Edward.

"Oh." I said quietly.

"It's strange because everyone is so obsessed with it. Sometimes I feel like it's all anyone thinks or talks about. It can be very frustrating. You have it on TV, movies, books, magazines. They turn it into something vulgar." He shook his head in disapproval.

I had to admit I agreed with him, but I wouldn't tell him that I read an article about better sex in a magazine recently. I was hidden behind a grocery aisle though as if I was reading something less than savory. I had resolved on blaming my virgin curiosity, but really I just didn't want to do anything really dumb on my wedding night. I couldn't even get through the article sadly because of my fear of being caught with it. Stupid, chicken virgin!

"But when I talk about it with you it feels… "He struggled for the word.

"Natural." I supplied with surprising ease.

"Yes." He confirmed. We both laughed but I couldn't exactly explain why. Maybe it was nerves. Even though it was hard to express myself when talking on the subject of sex with him, at least I had the ability to try. Talking about it with anyone else would just involve me looking down and babbling incoherently. I could actually have somewhat of a conversation with Edward about it.

The exit for Rainier was suddenly in front of us. I tried to focus my thoughts on something more benign. Talking about sex with Edward and then interacting with his family wasn't exactly pleasant or smart.

"So which do you like better: football or baseball?" I asked with a bright voice. Edward looked at me with an eyebrow raised. He didn't question my subject change. Perhaps he didn't want to talk further about it for the same reason I didn't.

"I like each sport for a different reason. Baseball, well at least vampire baseball," he winked at me, "allows me to really run." I knew how much he enjoyed speed, even if it was supplied by his own two feet. "But then football is very entertaining as well because, at least for my family, it's like a big wrestling match." I watched him smile as his eyes stayed on the road.

"I guess that is where the roughness might play in?" I asked.

"Sometimes. Usually it's between Emmett and Jasper. They can get out of hand. Jasper hates that Emmett is stronger than him. He often challenges him on the basis that he believes his superior fighting skills will be more effective than just brute strength. I think they're both idiots, but fun to watch."

I loved the way his eyes sparkled. He was so at ease. So this is what I had missed the first time I had gone to a Cullen sporting event. When he had taken me to the baseball field we were still relatively new to each other. I knew that he was worried that anything would set off my swift departure. He was sure his family would have scared me off. If anything his family, and the way he was with them, assured me of my affection.

I watched as Edward took back road after back road and then finally a small trail in the middle of the woods barely big enough for the Volvo appeared. I watched him wince every time he heard something knock up against the car.

"I wish I had the foresight to have had us accompany the family in the Jeep." He said regretfully. The family had headed up before I had been awake. Alice convinced them they could hang around town to shop. Apparently Alice had another wardrobe, Rosalie was happy with another diamond engagement ring, and Esme was satisfied with an antique end table she had found. Part of me really felt bad for Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle. They were outnumbered despite being even in count.

"Not long now." Edward announced. I looked out the windshield only able to see more trees than I had ever seen in my life. He must have meant not long for him. He probably could see miles ahead. Finally we pulled out into what started to be a clearing and then opened up to a massive field. I could see all of the Cullens on the side of the field tossing a football back and forth.

"Edward, I have a question."

"Mmm?"

"How do you guys not destroyed the football? It's filled with air." The thought suddenly occurred to me. How would they not crush it in their hands whenever they caught or landed on it?

"Well that's part of the challenge." He smiled. "And Emmett probably has twenty or so footballs in his Jeep." I smiled and shook my head. This was going to be very interesting to watch. Edward parked the car by the Jeep and then with vampire speed came over to my door to open it for me. He then took my hand and walked me over to the family. Alice bounded up to me and gave me a hug.

"I knew you would say yes. You are so the girl for this family." She exclaimed. Sometimes I thought she looked like a hyper tinker bell, but she looked strange at the moment because she was wearing a huge football jersey. She almost looked lost in it.

"Oh, I wear it so it's harder to catch me. If they grab the jersey it will tear off." My face must have held my question or perhaps I was deciding to ask her, but she answered. "Yes, I'm wearing something underneath it. We're weird Bella, but not that weird."

"Speak for yourself!" Emmett said coming up behind me. He casually draped his arm over my shoulder. "So little pet human…" His sentence was cut off by a loud growl from Edward. "Fine! Alright my little sis…happy Edward?" He scoffed at his brother.

"Substantially so. You won't be thinking of her as the frail human soon enough, Emmett. She'll be stronger than you." Edward answered back to the teasing. I felt my mouth lift into a ridiculous grin. Edward had without a scowl or frown once more referred to my upcoming transformation.

"Ha!! No one is stronger than me. Not now!" He threw a glare at Jasper who shook his head defiantly. "Not ever!"

"We'll see there, big man." Alice moved to Jasper's side looking just as defiant as her husband. As much as I hoped that Emmett would soon be taken down a few notches I was worried that Alice might be soothing Jasper's ego later that night.

"You don't scare me, Devil Pixie." Emmett replied back to her as she stuck her tongue out. "As I was saying Bella, you are about to watch the greatest show of your life. This week's certain victor will be played by me, Emmett Cullen." He stooped closer to my ear to make a show of conspiracy. "Now that I have revealed the winner would you like to my personal cheerleader?" He grinned impishly. I looked over to Edward who huffed out in disgust while he rolled his eyes.

"Hey, I'm your personal cheerleader!" Rosalie complained. My stomach dropped immediately as I remembered my delusional fear that Rosalie would be offended by Emmett's and mine text message conversation. Surely she saw that I only had eyes for Edward, and Emmett was over the moon for her. It still stirred nervousness in me nonetheless. I didn't want to be anymore on Rosalie's bad side than I was already.

"Oh baby! You know you always are. I meant human cheerleader." He amended quickly.

"You know all this reference to my obvious weakness as a human isn't exactly convincing me, Emmett. And on top of that if I was going to be a cheerleader for anyone it would be for Edward." I glanced over to Edward who looked back proudly, if not smugly.

"Okay I get that. I understand. You're getting married soon. He hasn't really annoyed you yet." Emmett said with a surrendering gesture.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rosalie asked irritated. I suppose she took that personally as a married individual, specifically attached to Emmett.

"Nothing baby. You know I love you." He consoled his wife swiftly as I crossed my arms over my chest already tired of Emmett's antics. "What I was trying to say…" He started visibly annoyed with the interruptions. "Is that you will have eternity to cheer poor little, unskilled Edward. An oblivion of disappointed fanaticism. I am the warrior of all sports. For me to ask for your favor is quite the honor. This might be your last time to enjoy that honor before having to be forever forced to cheer for a loser."

"Oh Emmett, you have gone above and beyond with your trash talking this time. Let the poor girl alone. I'm sure she will be cheering for us all." Esme finally interceded. She stood between me and Emmett exuding her calm and love. "She'll be cheering for us all to be less superior compared to Edward."

"Esme…No I wouldn't. I want all of your guys to be great. If you could all win then that would make my day." I tried to assure my soon to be mother in law.

"Really I have your favor then?" Esme asked innocently.

"Of course." I answered rapidly. I then heard Edward chuckling loudly.

"Well played Esme." He said between his laughter.

"That's how you get favor, Emmett." She patted him on the shoulder before smiling brightly at me. She had used her motherly charm to dupe me.

"That's not fair, Esme!!! That was female, motherly coercion. I could never top that!!" Emmett complained loudly as he followed Esme across the field.

"Uh…what…I mean…wait. What just happened?" I stammered pathetically more than confused. Edward came beside me and rubbed up and down my back as if soothing me.

"You have to be cheerleader to Esme now." Edward said with a wide smile.

"How is that fair? She tricked me!" Esme turned around and mouthed sorry.

"Apparently, they all had a plan to convince you to be their cheerleader. Esme was just a lot smarter about it and played on your sensitive side." He kissed me gently on my forehead before letting out another amused chuckle. "You can still cheer for me in secret." He whispered with a devilish grin.

"Okay." I tried to cheer up. Sibling rivalry, and apparently parental as well, was very new to me. Edward was enjoying it, so I might as well get used to it.

Edward guided me over to Emmett's Jeep. He picked me so fast and put me on top of the roof that I barely registered that I was about seven feet off the ground.

"Now can I trust you not to fall off?" Edward teased me lightly.

"Ha, ha." I replied sarcastically.

"Alright, then. I guess I will have to just pray then." He then kissed me softly, but I put my hands on both sides of his face and deepened the kiss. I felt his body immediately react to me and I almost smiled. I ended our little fiery moment with a surge of confidence I had craved for in the car.

"I hope your prayers go well." I retorted rebelliously and tried to pretend that I was more interested in watching the family set up the boundaries for the game about hundred or so yards from me. When I didn't feel him move away I looked back to him. It was like he was a stunned statue. He then broke his daze and looked at me as if I was a disobedient child. I had just inspired many non-family feelings at the moment in him, so I suppose I deserved it. I'm sure it wasn't fun to not be able to truly reciprocate. Finally, he looked down as if amused.

"Well many prayers have already been beautifully answered. I'm sure I could get lucky again." He whispered huskily into my ear. When he felt me shiver from his tone and words, he jumped off the Jeep with a triumphant smile heading towards his family. I suddenly wished that football time was over.


	16. Revenge as Family

_**Hello Everyone!! Thanks for staying with the story and leaving me reviews. I really enjoy reading them. This is really a family chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it. **_

_**If you care to know what I was listening to while writing this:**_

_**Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes**_

_**Hate to Say I Told You So by the Hives**_

_**Feel Good Inc. By Gorillaz**_

_**Oh My God by Ida Maria (my new fave song!!)**_

_**You can find all these songs on YouTube. Listen for Free!!!**_

_**Thanks and I hope you enjoy!! Love you Nostlagicmiss…You are the coolest cat in town. I'm happy to be the second coolest. **_

I found my attention floating towards the massive storm to the west of us. The dark clouds swirled ominously and the wind started to pick up slowly. As I watched it transfixed, a lightning strike hit miles away and seconds later I heard the thunder.

"Hey Bella! You're supposed to be cheering for me!" Esme lightly scolded me instantly returning my concentration back to the game.

"Oh sorry!! Yea!!" I returned pathetically. I had been entertained by the game but the storm had me worried it would soon ruin this Cullen sporting event.

"Is it supposed to rain over here, Alice?" I asked in my normal tone. I had learned long ago that vampire hearing was frustratingly sensitive. Yelling would have been terrible overkill. Mumbling and comments made under my breath were useless now to disguise anything I said.

"No, not for a little while anyway." She replied calmly and started to move into game position.

Since the numbers were uneven they had Alice remain quarter back for both teams as long as she promised to not favor Jasper. Edward, Carlisle, Esme were on one team and Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie on the second. To prevent potential rough competition between Jasper and Emmett it was decided that they would play on the same team. I thought Edward did this just for my benefit to make sure I didn't witness limbs being torn off in the name of bruised egos, but apparently everyone was sick of their constant contests of strength and cunning with each other.

I watched as Alice called out, "Hike!" and then moved back with the football raised into ready position for throwing. I had watched this position last night on ESPN with Charlie. I vaguely remembered him pointing out what a quarterback and wide receiver were. Esme kept close to Alice, only ten yards in front of her, while Edward and Carlisle went out for a wide pass. Edward was just a blur to my eyes as he went straight for the goal line.

Jasper was covering Alice but he had to wait at least five seconds before he "rushed" her. Edward explained this to me by saying he could not cross a certain line until then. When the five seconds were up he could tackle her, which was called a sack because she was a quarterback. I nodded my head up and down retaining the information even if I had almost no clue how the situation was going to play out. Emmett blocked Edward but Emmett was much slower than him. It felt strange to describe Emmett as slow since his running was just a flash to me as well.

Alice waited until Edward was in perfect position before she rocketed the ball towards him in the in zone. Edward easily leapt up to catch the ball and then landed gracefully scoring another point for his team. I cheered loudly then, jumping up from my seat on the Jeep and screaming like a mad woman. When everyone looked over me deservedly like I was crazy I stopped mid cheer and sat down. Edward flashed a giant smile to me and I instantly felt better.

"Esme, your cheerleader is not appreciating your efforts for your team." Emmett taunted his mother.

"You're just jealous, Emmett. She cheered for me before, and Edward is on my team so it still counts." Esme countered back unaffected.

"Plus I do believe that we are in the lead." Carlisle said draping his arm over his wife and kissing her forehead. "I think that is grounds to be jealous. Jasper, why don't you settle the debate?"

"Oh he's as jealous as a scorned lover." Jasper joked back.

"The question would be is it jealously like a male lover or female lover." Edward said joining his family as they ribbed Emmett.

"Oh, most definitely female." Jasper laughed out loud with everyone.

"Dude, you are on my team!!" Emmett hit Jasper on the shoulder causing him to fall back a few steps.

"Alright, let's get back to the game. We don't have much time." Alice reined everyone back into playing.

Both teams then went to opposite sides of the field. I remembered Charlie calling this I think a "kick-off". Alice kicked the ball over to Emmett's team with such force that the ball seem to spend hours in hang time. Emmett caught the ball and sprinted down the field. He was running so fast and so strong that the field under him was being kicked up behind him. It almost left what looked like a ditch in his wake. It took a great amount of effort but Esme, Carlisle and Edward managed to bring him down before he scored.

"Who's the man?! Who's the man?!" He said pumping his arms in the air in premature victory.

"You didn't score yet, Emmett." Edward deftly pointed out to him.

"Yeah well neither have you, brother." He said as he cocked his head over to where I sat. Apparently it was another swipe about Edward's potential sex life.

"Emmett! That's not appropriate." Edward admonished him.

"Well God, Edward! If you can't talk about it casually then how the hell you going to complete the deed?" That was the point where my faced flamed in a humiliated blush. Edward looked over to me apologizing.

"No worries. I will be scoring next play." Emmett said as he crouched into position. He was right. He scored the very next play and that only allowed him to be even more excited than before. He rushed up to me then holding the football triumphantly.

"Now don't you wish you were my cheerleader?" Emmett said arrogantly with a smile.

"The game's not over." I said simply.

"Oh come on, Bella. I'll let you show some love. You know that's how family relationships go. I show you love, you show me love." While he said this Rosalie eyed our exchange. My face turned a deeper shade of red then before. She hated when Emmett showed any affection towards me. My previous fear of the text message conversation and Edward's teasing swept over me.

"Why is she blushing so much?" Rosalie said turning to Edward. He laughed at her and shook his head.

"Nothing. She is probably still embarrassed about your husband's comments from before." My wonderful fiancé covered for me. Emmett then left me to resume to game.

Soon it was Edward's team up as offense. I cheered obediently when Esme managed to gain many yards towards the goal line. She smiled brightly and grateful that I had remembered. Emmett then was frustrated that he could not keep up with Edward and feared that he would complete another exceptional play on his watch. So he called over to Jasper and told him that he should defend Edward instead of his wife.

"What you can't keep up with your target, Emmett. I think a real man would stick it out." Jasper mocked him as he took his position further out field and Emmett moved to defend Alice.

"I'm just trying to win the game man." Emmett returned completely focused as Alice described her next play to her team quietly.

"Yeah, sure. It's okay to be soft once and awhile, bro." Jasper grinned wickedly to his brother. Emmett did not find his joking very funny though. Instead of laughing with his brother or retorting, a devious look went across his face as if he was thinking of something particularly evil.

"Yeah, we'll see who's soft." He said before Alice called the play into action. Jasper was on Edward's path in an instant. He was able to follow him more thoroughly than Emmett had.

Emmett's deviant look had not washed from his face and now he smiled to himself as he counted down the seconds before he could tackle Alice. He inched closer every second and Alice seemed to be looking anxious. Then Emmett reached the end of his count and rushed her. Alice was able to empty her hands of the ball passing it to Carlisle who was then tackled by Rosalie. But Emmett did not stop despite the ball no longer being in the possession of Alice. He sacked her ruthlessly causing the ground beneath them to explode leaving a sizeable hole. Jasper immediately rushed over to where Emmett was. He looked the angriest I had ever seen him.

"What's your problem?" He challenged Emmett as he picked his wife up off the ground. Alice was not hurt of course but still Jasper was offended.

"Nothing. I was playing the game." Emmett said nonchalantly.

"How? By plowing my wife into the ground?" Jasper countered back furiously.

"I'm fine, Jasper." Alice said trying to calm him. Edward came behind Jasper holding unto his shoulder and eying me cautiously. I remained calm and still as I watched from my perch a hundred yards away.

"That's enough boys." Carlisle stood between them. "You have been at each other throats all afternoon. You promised to be less competitive and less pig-headed if Bella attended. It's in her best interest that we remain civil." Suddenly the whole family was looking at me. They all seemed to have the same look on their faces. It was in that moment that it looked like all of them shared the same protective nature that Edward always had over me. It was very uncomfortable to have them all glancing at me but at the same time I felt very loved. I also felt bad suddenly that I was there. I was impeding what their true abilities were.

"We don't have a lot of time left. If we want to continue the game we better hurry up." Alice nodded over to the storm that was now fast approaching the field. Everyone agreed and went into position.

Before Edward resumed his space beside and behind Alice a strange exchange occurred between Jasper and him. Edward abruptly looked to him with obvious focus. Jasper gave a small nod and a wink and Edward concealed a smirk and nod of his own. I couldn't understand what it was all about. Edward scored again the next play leaving his team in the lead.

It was now Emmett's team turn and this was their last chance. If they did not score then Edward, Carlisle, and Esme won. Emmett tried to pump his team up to go all the way, but only Rosalie seemed to be enthusiastic with him. Jasper once more gave a nod to Edward after he was finished with his team huddle. Edward looked over to Carlisle then and said something but I could not hear and it appeared no one else could either.

The play was started and Esme was defending Alice. She seemed to be counting more slowly than Emmett was. It was almost as if she wanted Alice to be able to throw it. Emmett went out far into the outfield with Edward on his heels constantly. Alice was about ready to throw the ball to him when I saw Carlisle quickly dart to where Emmett and Edward were as if he knew where Alice was going to throw it. As soon as the ball hit Emmett's hands he was hit by both Carlisle and Edward. I was astonished with the force of it. The sound it made was far greater then when Emmett had sacked Alice or any other tackle the whole afternoon.

It was then that I realized that Jasper had planned revenge on Emmett with the help of Edward. Emmett was so shell shocked that the ball fell from his hands and Esme came out of nowhere to easily retrieve it as an interception. She then ran with Rosalie fast on her tail towards the goal line. Rosalie tried to tackle her mother as best as she could but fell short leaving Esme to score. Maybe I had not been as animated as I should have been earlier in the game for Esme's efforts but at that moment I cheered wildly. With that final touchdown Edward's team had won. Emmett had more than a couple of colored words when he realized just as I had what had happened.

I started to feel sprinkles of rain on my back and I felt the wind pick up violently. The Cullens started to head towards the Jeep. Emmett and Rosalie were behind Edward heading towards me. I saw a smile spread on Emmett's face and Edward's brow furrow. He turned to them quickly as if to scold them for something they were thinking but they both were able to grab him before he could do anything. Edward had told me that his family had gotten used to blocking him from seeing some of their thoughts. Previously I had been happy that they had found a source of privacy, but as I watched them wrestle with him I was upset that they had used it against him.

As they tussled on the ground I watched worried for some stupid reason. I knew that they couldn't or wouldn't hurt him, but still I was irrationally concerned. The rest of the Cullen family laughed and cheered on Edward to fight back. Jasper kindly helped me down from the top of the Jeep roof so that I could join the family. Edward managed to get away from his attackers but Rosalie and Emmett didn't let up chasing him.

As Edward ran he shouted back to me, "Get in the car before you get soaked, Bella!" He then laughed out loud that his brother and sister could not keep up with him. I watched as they raced into the forest. Instinctually I found myself walking ahead to where they disappeared.

I'm not sure I could describe what I felt like in that moment. Part of me was so happy that Edward was relaxed and enjoying time with this family and the other part of me was mournful that I could not yet participate. I hated that I was so limited to only watch and at that moment I felt my human weakness very acutely. But I also was aware that in a few weeks I would be one of them. I had reconciled myself with this idea long ago but I still felt a deep, nervous feeling in my stomach. What would that feel like? What would it be like to run with Edward or to be able to play football, baseball, or even to walk without falling?

I was so consumed with these thoughts that I was thirty feet from the car before I realized that it had started pouring. Alice grabbed my arm and quickly put me into the car. She sat in the driver seat as I sat in the passenger seat.

"Are you okay?" She asked when she closed the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said dazed. She pressed her lips together and made a face that indicated she did not believe me. "Really I am. Just pensive."

"Everything is going to be fine, you know." Alice answered my thoughts perceptively. I gave a small chuckle.

"Yeah, I think I know that. I just don't know how I'm going to fit in with all of you. I mean you all are so acquainted with each other. It's weird to think how much will change and soon." I was surprised that I had been so forthcoming. Alice was my best friend but I had kept many of these worries and thoughts to myself. If I had talked about them it was usually with Edward.

"Bella you are part of the family already. You have a place." She responded passionately.

"Yeah, as the human pet." I said with another laugh thinking of what Emmett had called me earlier.

"Uh! Emmett just said that because he's ass." Alice said matter-of-factly. We both laughed at that. "I mean he is so jovial sometimes that he doesn't know what he's saying."

"Are you mad at him for sacking you?" I asked her seriously but a small smile graced her perfect lips.

"Oh no. I knew it was going to happen." She leaned back into the seat crossing her arms proudly.

"What do you mean?" I gripped my sides feeling my body becoming cold under all my soaked clothes.

"Bella, he had made his decision to do that a few seconds before it happened. I had plenty of warning, but I liked the way it turned out so I let it happened." She shrugged as if I should have expected her answer.

"What? Wait, I don't understand."

"Well my husband got to come to my rescue, defend my honor and all that. Emmett got to be taken down with poetic justice, and Edward got to be chased around. I've had a wonderful afternoon." She said throwing her hands up in air as if celebrating herself.

"But why do you care if Edward got chased?" I was a little concerned why she was happy that my fiancé was currently being pursued through the woods in the pouring rain.

"Oh, well that was more for you." A wide smile was plastered on her face despite my perplexed expression. "Just don't go too far. You wouldn't want to ruin anything." She added before putting her hand on the door handle. "He's back. See you later, Bella." And with that she was out of the car.

_**Yes, next chapter is going to be really good. I am working on it now and will have it out in a few days. You will be VERY happy with it. Anytime Alice is getting involved…you know happy fluffy time is not far away. Thanks and please leave a review.**_


	17. Wild is the Wind

_**Hey Guys!! I am back with the happy chapter!! WooHoo!! Okay this is a pretty sensual chapter, so be warned…Don't be reading this in front of children or something weird like that. **_

_**The songs I used in this chapter are**_

_**La Vie En Rose by Louis Armstrong**_

_**Wild is the Wind by Cat Power**_

_**You can find both of these on YouTube. I RECOMMEND You at least listen to Wild is the Wind with Cat Power singing it. Other versions are good but Cat Power's is the best!! Sexiest Song EVER!!!**_

_**Love you all and I really hope ya'll leave a review. I would really appreciate it!!**_

_**I don't own Twilight at all or the characters. Stephenie Meyer stole the idea from me *crickets chirping***_

_**Okay fine…It was Stephenie Meyer's idea. **_

Too quickly for my eyes, Alice was out of the car with Edward taking her place. He took a moment to see my appearance of puzzlement at the quickness of it all. His face shifted from tolerated, perhaps even amused annoyance to acute concern.

"What's the matter?" He inquired alarmed. I didn't get to answer because I started shivering profusely.

"I'm so sorry." He apologized turning the heat on full blast in the car. "Why didn't you get into the car?"

"I-I-I w-w-w-wante-dd t-t-ooo see what h-h-happene-d-d-d." I tried to get out. His eyes stayed serious but he laughed out.

"Oh Bella." He started the car quickly and then sped out field. "I'll get you home as fast as I can." His voice took this strange urgency to it, and I immediately wished I had gotten into the car when I was supposed to.

I tried my best to hide my shivering. Once more the human weakness plagued me. Would this affect the next time I wanted to go to another Cullen sporting trip? Would this affect if I ever wanted to go into a rain storm for that matter? I couldn't even sigh at the possible overprotective tendencies of Edward because it came out as a terrible stutter of breath.

Despite the heat blasting I still felt so cold. I tried to remind myself that I had had much worse; for example in the tent with Edward before Jacob was able to warm me up. I mentally scolded myself for remembering that terrible time.

I had been thinking about Jacob and often. I would be heartless not to think of my best friend. But I could not tell anyone about it or express what I was feeling about the entire situation because I feared that Edward would believe that I loved Jacob that way. At some point I was going to have deal, we both would have to, but I honestly didn't want to before the wedding. It seemed to be giving everyone the small splice of happiness we all needed. I had picked Edward and that's all that mattered. I loved Edward more and that's all we needed.

Even my internal musing could not distract my body's rebellion. The heat was on!! Why wasn't it working?! He looked over to me. I'm sure my face displayed my frustration but I could bet Edward only saw the deepening blue tint to my lips. Edward reached into the back seat and produced a black leather jacket.

"Here put this on. It will help." He ordered gently. I started to put on the jacket but his next words stopped me. "Um, it might be better if you took off your wet shirt." I looked at him with a baffled expression and swallowed roughly. I couldn't believe he had suggested it, but at the same time I became excited that those words had come out of his mouth.

"The more wet clothes off of your body will make you warmer." He tried to talk as if a doctor, straight forward and unfeeling, but I could see that this idea was very shocking to both of us. I took a few shaking breaths pondering the options. I was freezing and I desperately wanted to be warm. I didn't want to be sick right before the wedding and if I sat in these cold clothes I would be. I then felt really stupid with myself. Wasn't he going to see me completely naked on our wedding night? All I had to do was take my shirt off and wear his jacket. This was easy. Wasn't it?

"Um, okay." I slowly moved the jacket over myself. I unbuttoned the shirt under it. I saw Edward's hand grip the steering wheel hard but his eyes were glued to the road. I managed to maneuver my shirt and the jacket over me so I didn't expose my bra. When I had the jacket completely on, I felt instantly better. I eventually stopped shivering.

"Better?" Edward asked lowly. I didn't want to register the fact that he seemed to be trying to hide his discomfort about the situation. I felt equally odd. The feeling reminded me of the anticipation of touching him, but it was also mixed with something else. It felt like all those time we had crossed lines, changed rules, but it felt very strange to feel like that in a confined driving car. I would do anything to get this unidentifiable tension out of my mind, at least until I could handle it with a stable attitude.

"Can I play some music?" I asked reaching for the IPod.

"Of course." He looked over to smile at me but he immediately glanced at the jacket and just settled on a small smirk. He then took a deep breath and swiftly moved his eyes forward again. His eyes narrowed and he let out a breath he had been holding. Was he feeling the same way and had no idea how to channel it just like me?

I put the selection on shuffle. I didn't have any kind of music in mind. I just needed something that would distract from the fact that I now sat with no shirt on and in Edward's jacket. Of course it didn't help that the jacket smelled divinely of him. It didn't help that I knew that his skin had touched the same material my bare back was now touching. And it really didn't help that he was in reach. I was able to breathe out normally now but still I shuddered with the thoughts in my minds.

The IPod was of no assistance either. Every single song seemed to set me off in some way. Maybe Edward was right and the entire world thought about sex way too much. I finally gave up when I heard a Louis Armstrong song Edward enjoyed often. It seemed innocent enough so I let it play. Edward relaxed slowly hearing the trumpet solo in the beginning. But when the lyrics started we both stared at the offending IPod as if it was taunting us.

_Hold me close and hold me fast_

_The magic spell you cast_

_This is La Vie En Rose_

_When you kiss me heaven sighs_

_And though I close my eyes_

_I see la vie en rose_

_When you press to your heart_

_And in a world apart_

_A world where roses bloom _

_And when you speak _

_Angels sing from above_

_Everyday words seem_

_To turn into love songs_

_Give your heart and soul to me_

_And life will always be_

_La Vie En Rose_

I huffed out a breath. I wasn't safe with a Louis Armstrong song. That was sad. I noticed that Edward was now tapping his left foot. We both seemed terribly edgy. The music seemed to do little to stop the feeling in the car. It reminded me of the times spent in biology class with the lights turned off and some boring movie playing while Edward and I struggled to not look or touch each other. It was like this the entire ride until we were about ten minutes from my house. I thought about turning off the music altogether when I heard the next song. It was a woman singing with low voice.

_Love me, Love me_

_Say you do_

_Let me fly away _

_With you_

When we were at a stop light I made a move to change it but Edward unexpectedly caught my hand. My breathing hitched in my chest. His touch felt like pleasant electricity going through my body. I felt every nerve come to life. My skin felt like it was aching. I looked up to Edward and he was staring at my hand. His mouth was partially open and he was breathing shallowly. His eyes slowly made their way to mine.

"I like this song." He whispered. I now shivered but not from the cold. The feeling started from the top of my head and tingled down to the pit of my stomach.

"Okay." I answered back in his same low tone. He took my hand into his and began stroking it with his thumb.

_Give me more than _

_One caress_

_To satisfy this _

_Hungriness_

_We are creatures of the wind_

_Wild is the wind_

Everything felt amplified and alive. I closed my eyes feeling his touch completely overwhelm me. I breathed deeply in and out. I listened to the lyrics feeling like they were taken straight from my heart. The piano and the sound of the singer's voice haunted me. The intense feeling it produced sank deep into my soul and I found myself staring at Edward.

_You touch me_

_I hear the sound of mandolins_

_And you kiss me_

_With your kiss my life begins. _

We pulled up to my house and his eyes finally found mine. Why did I feel like something was happening? I had no idea what it was because I never felt it before. It was like I was looking straight into his soul, his love for me. I looked at all the things he was and all the things I was, and I was unafraid. No matter what confusion lay behind or in front of me I would know this moment as truth. It was an overwhelming emotion. This was going to happen. All my dreams were going to happen. Everything I had asked for and everything I didn't know to ask for.

_We are creatures of the wind_

_Wild is the wind_

_You touch me_

Edward lifted his hand and traced it over my face and down to my neck.

_I hear the sounds of mandolins_

_And you kiss me_

I leaned into him and his lips were on mine instantly. Had we ever been this in sync? Had a kiss ever felt or tasted so good?

_With your kiss my life begins_

His touch felt like a longed for spark to my skin. As we kissed I felt his hand drift from my neck to my hair. He pulled me closer as if he wanted so much more than what I was giving him at the moment. I'm not sure what part of my brain controls moans but I was cursing it when I heard the sound fall from my lips. Before I knew what was happening he had pulled away from me and was at my door picking me out of the car. In his arms we sailed over the lawn through the door and into my bed room. My breathing, shallow from the moment and moving so quickly, became loud in my small room.

He stood me upright and looked down at me afraid that he had done something wrong. I put my lips to his unwilling to let any insecurity stop this moment. He responded with fervor, his arms around me and his lips as hungry as mine. How had kissing him gotten better? How had his touch become more irresistible?

He took himself away from my lips to caress my neck. His lips on my skin there started a fire in me I felt powerless to stop. He moved closer to my collarbone and then he abruptly stopped. The jacket. I had forgotten.

His hand lifted and it traced the closed unbuttoned jacket from top to bottom. Beyond this piece of clothing I had a practically bare torso.

"I think we better stop." He said huskily. His hand started to move away from the jacket but I grabbed it holding it there. He swallowed deeply. In his eyes I saw that he didn't want to stop. In his eyes I knew what thoughts lay there. I knew and I was unafraid. I knew and I was not embarrassed.

"You can touch me, Edward." My voice so small and light, if he didn't have vampire hearing he would have never heard me. He didn't move. Neither of us breathed. I held his hand to my stomach in front the jacket. I took his hand and slowly moved the jacket away until his skin had contact with mine. The jacket still covered me except now on my stomach. With courage that I did not know existed in me I moved his hand further up. We both watched as his hand slowly moved with my power. When the jacket started to open to expose more skin he stilled his hand and I could not move it with all the strength I possessed.

"Please." I said looking up to him. His eyes were closed and his jaw was clenched. "Please." I said again taking one of my hands away from his and touching his face. He relaxed and opened his eyes.

"I don't know what's going to happen, Bella…if we….I don't know." He whispered to me sadly. I wanted to hold him, to reassure him. I wasn't scared and I was the one that could get hurt. I trusted him. I trusted that he had control of the monster inside him that came in between us so often. I loved him and that means that if he didn't have that control I would forgive him. I would stand by him through the darkest thought, the worst crime, the most terrible desire.

"It's okay." I murmured to him. "I trust you. Do you trust me?" I asked him. He nodded up down and looked to the floor. "I promise. I won't let things go too far." As the words left my mouth I thought of what Alice had told me in the car.

"_Just don't go too far. You wouldn't want to ruin anything."_

I didn't know if I should feel grateful that she had warned me and I was somewhat prepared, or be upset that she knew so much about my love life. That was an invasion of privacy I suppose I was going to have to get used to.

I took a deep breath and tried to move his hand again. He still wouldn't let me move it. I looked up to him with pleading eyes but before I could put on the beseeching full force his hand moved up. My eyes rolled to the back of my head. Not only did it feel amazing to have his hands on me but he had done it on his own accord. My eyes stayed close as his fingers crept to the bottom of my bra. I tried to steady my breathing but my heart was beating uncontrollably.

I suddenly felt his other hand resting on my rib cage underneath the jacket. I stopped breathing and swallowed deeply. I'm not sure why I couldn't open my eyes. Maybe I felt like if I did the dream would be over, that this wonderful experience was just my imagination.

"Breathe, Bella." Edward's low velvet voice ordered me and I quickly obeyed. His hands moved not as slow as before but with precision. I felt them brush over my breasts and then lay on my shoulders under the jacket. I heard him take in and out an unnecessary breath, and then he lifted his hands and the jacket began to slide down my arms. His hands followed down my arms as the jacket fell to the ground.

I had never been this exposed to Edward before. Whenever I had imagined this moment I thought I would be overcome with humiliation and insecurity, and I could not lie now that hints of both of those feelings didn't circled me. But what I was surprised at was the fact that it almost felt liberating. I felt in some way we had just became equals. Edward had been shirtless in front of me, and now I was in front of him.

I felt his smooth fingers move back up my arms and to my shoulders. They ran across my collarbone before settling on each side of the straps of my bra. I wasn't sure if I was ready to have that article of clothing removed but I could not deny that the idea excited me to no end. I was just happy that I had worn a somewhat attractive bra. I took another deep breath trying to quell the lustful thoughts in my head. His fingers ran up and down the straps, picking them up to feel the skin underneath them.

"You are so beautiful that is almost breaks me." He moved the strap on my left shoulder and kissed it gently almost in reverence, and then he did the same to the other one.

"I wished you believed me when I tell you that." My eyes opened when he said that. His hand moved to my face. His eyes looked sad. I would do anything to wipe that feeling from his emotional landscape.

"Anything you say right now, I'll believe you." My voice sounded strange. It sounded deeper, more adult.

He moved his face closer to mine. His hands framed my face and ran down to my neck, then shoulders and settled on my waist.

"You are the most beautiful creature I have seen." His kissed my neck on the left side.

"I love you more than anything that was or ever will be." He kissed the right side of my neck then. When I looked into his eyes I found such a fire that I had never seen. He paused and looked at me intently. He looked as if he was debating if he should say what he wanted to say next.

"I want you right now more than anything I have ever wanted." My eyes were blurred with tears when his lips kissed me. His words, his touch, his kiss only allowed me to have one coherent thought, "Why can't it be the honeymoon already?"

Maybe it was the consuming feeling from before, or the fact that I had thought about the honeymoon but my desire burst from me and was met by a very eager Edward. My hands ran though his hair as I desperately tried to pull myself closer to him, but it didn't seem enough. I didn't realize what an accomplishment I had completed until I had Edward's shirt open. I thought I was going to have to take it off his shoulders but he nearly ripped it off himself, and then came back to me even more passionate than before.

The moment our bare skin met each other we both moaned. That had to be the best feeling I had experienced in my entire life. He lifted me up expertly and I wrapped my legs around his waist. My back hit the bed before I could register exactly what was going on. When I did realize the situation I didn't care, even with the Alice's words and my promise to Edward. All of it seemed so immaterial at the moment as if it had occurred in another life, another dimension. The rational part of my brain seemed to be malfunctioning and only littered my thoughts occasionally with the idea of, "You can stop this when you want. It's not far enough yet."

The only thing that bothered me was that I was in my jeans still and they had dried stiff. I wanted nothing more than to rip them off, and would be especially happy if Edward ripped them off. I tried to ignore it and didn't have to try too hard. Edward had let his weight settle on me comfortably. He wasn't holding back and I nearly felt my insides melt at the thought.

I had never felt my desire so acutely in that moment. It was like a drug clouding my mind. There was nothing but what I wanted in that moment and what I wanted was Edward. I wanted every sensation and pleasure he had given me, and I wanted it over and over again.

He moved the straps of my bra away from my shoulders and kissed all the way down to the top of my breast. I moaned, loudly. Even though that sensation seemed like it would overcome any rules we had ever made, I still pushed farther. I took his hand and laid it on my breast. He didn't pause or look at me or tell me we had to stop. He caressed it and felt every inch of my chest effectively putting me in the sweetest torture of my life. The kiss that accompanied the touch was so passion filled that I could have passed out from just that.

In all the time we had been together Edward was never able to truly kiss me. He always said that he would be able to when I was more durable. I was more than happy knowing that I had a new experience waiting for me when I was changed, but I still wanted more when I was human.

I always wanted, hungered, and craved from Edward any physical contact he could give me. It was because of this reason that I think I had my first out of body experience. His tongue touched my own. I know it sounds strange but that had never happened before. His mouth was filled with razor sharp teeth and Edward was always very aware that his venom was poison to me. Somehow he allowed it to happen. The best thing was nothing happened. The world didn't end. I didn't die or get hurt.

Spurred on by this glorious victory I tried to meet his tongue again and he allowed it once more. My voice caught in my throat and hummed in satisfaction. He then pushed his tongue into my mouth but just barely. It didn't matter how far though because I was really kissing Edward now. No, it wasn't what we would be able to do when I was immortal but it was the closet we were going to get. He gently squeezed by breast and I arched my back into the feeling. It was absolutely instinctual and I enjoyed every second of it.

My next move was to get those damn jeans off my legs. I was unsure how Edward would react to that but I felt like maybe it would be to my benefit. Still my thoughts rationalized it:

"_You can stop whenever you want to. It's not too far yet."_

That was when my little fantasy becoming real life was rudely interrupted. The front door slammed shut.

"Bella?"

_**HeeHeeHeeHeeHee!!! I am evil!!! **_

_**Okay with that I have fulfilled two requests…**_

_**A nice moment in the Volvo (I know it was short, I might do another)**_

_**And Edward getting so caught up he didn't hear who was coming…**_

_**Oh and I wanted to mention that this line was paraphrased from my fave movie Out of Africa**_

"_**Anything you say right now, I'll believe you."**_

_**Meryl Strep and Hot Young Robert Redford!! Yes sir, gimme another!!! **_

_**Please REVIEW!! I'd love to hear from you!! **_


	18. Getting Caught With Your Shirt Off

_**Okay…Like I'm sorry…Really. **_

_**I do have to say a few things. **_

_**First- I have never set up a schedule with this story. I never saw the need, but since things have changed…I can't even update it seems in an acceptable pattern without a schedule. I apologize for that guys. I really do. I have just been diagnosed with arthritis and fibromyalgia. The arthritis is worst in my hands…Guess what you need in order to write?? **_

_**Class? Anyone? **_

"_**Hands!" **_

"_**That's right, Nostalgicmiss! Cookies for you!"**_

_**I mentioned Nostalgicmiss because I love her, and well…I'd mention her ever chapter if she let me and it made you read her stories. By the way…read her stories. **_

_**So if you don't like a story with a schedule…I'm real sorry, but I have always written this on the fly. I'll try to do better and write ahead…IF I CAN!!! Thanks!**_

_**Second- I don't usually respond to reviews…Is that like bad manners?? My bad…I guess I can start trying. I'm so oblivious. When I started out on this site 6 years ago (yes I'm an old timer) you didn't even have that option. You know it was the time when candles were the source of light and I walked 5 miles to school every day in the snow…in Florida. Yeah, the weather was wicked weird like that back then. **_

_**Third- If you have been so cool to send me a wonderful personal message and I have not answered you back…I SUCK! Sorry. I will try to get all my email on my personal account, YouTube account, and this account figured out as soon as possible. Sorry but been super busy with some things and plus…typing hurts!!**_

_**Fourth- I have no idea who will be remotely interested, but I'm writing a story for Twilight that is AH/AU. It's not overboard. It's just basically what the story would be if everyone was human and therefore Bella really got hit by the van. It's…angsty, but also romantic. I am currently on chapter 5 of this (I'm so trying to do the whole schedule thing…Holy Crap!) and will be posting when I get to chapter 8 or 10, I don't know yet. I will post and then release every week. So if you get tired of waiting for this stupid story…no worries!! Another stupid story is on the way. **_

_**Alright, you can check me out on YouTube under JackieOrioncat where I talk a lot about fanfiction, my recommendations, and reviews. **_

_**Much love and Please Review!!**_

I now know that Charlie's voice is the best tool for abstinence. We had gotten back at night. Charlie hadn't been there. We should have expected him coming home. I should have thought about that immediately when I arrived home, but of course I was more consumed by my hormonal trance to even consider that we were due for a Charlie interruption.

Before Charlie completely said the first syllable of my name Edward was off of me in an instant rushing to put his shirt on. My brain had a hard time functioning, but when I realized the scenario we were in I couldn't help but feel confused over how Edward had not seen this coming.

"Why didn't you hear him coming?" I hissed out as he went to the window and opened it. He should have heard Charlie's thoughts a mile away.

"I was a little distracted!" He replied back lowly.

"Bella, are you up there?" Charlie called out before he started to make his way up the stairs.

"Yeah, Dad." I answered back. I grabbed the jacket off the floor and started to put it on but Edward stopped me.

"No." He then disappeared in flash but returned just as quick. "Put this on." He shoved a robe in my hands. "Tell him that I went for a walk while you changed." He then moved over to the window again. Edward's car was in the driveway so Charlie knew that he was here. There was no way around it.

"Bella, is Edward up there? I thought I made myself clear about that." God, he was so close it was scary.

"He's not going to believe that!" I whispered frantically back.

"Yes, he will." He then jumped out the window and vanished. I shoved my arms through the sleeves of the robe covering myself up and opened the door.

"No, Dad." I announced as if I was exasperated that he would even accuse that. "He's not here." I opened the door up wide so he could see though out the room. Apparently that was not good enough because he brushed past me and started stalking around the room.

"What is this? An investigation or something, Dad?" I tried to look really angry when I said that, and some part of me was a little. I mean Charlie had placed rules for the house and I had now broken them, but at the same time I was frustrated that the rules had to exist. I was eighteen and about ready to be married. But then again why did I feel so very guilty at the moment?

He opened the door of my closet. Of course Charlie would be super cop at this time. A few vampires hunting me and werewolves hanging out with me and his cop spidey sense doesn't tingle, but I have my first real sexual moment and his intuition goes off the charts.

"Dad, he went out for a walk while I got changed." After he finished searching my room he looked at me to make sure I was telling the truth. I guess I had gotten a lot better at lying because he didn't seem to find anything that made him more suspicious. Then we both heard knocking at the door. "That's probably him."

I stood at the top of the stairs and Charlie stood beside me. "Come in!" I yelled to Edward which felt so very unnatural. The door opened to reveal a damp Edward with handful of picked wild flowers in this hand. I wanted to role my eyes. Damn him and his feigned innocence!

"Hello there, Chief Swan. How are you?" He was so sweetly courteous, but in such a believable way.

"Hello, Edward. I'm fine." Charlie huffed out a breath and then took a look at me. I shrugged as if saying, "I told you." Edward just stood there smiling as if oblivious.

"What have you two been doing today?" He crossed his arms over his chest looking at both us. I looked as if I had been stunned with a taser. Edward, however, didn't miss a beat.

"Well, I had to take care of some things with the wedding," Edward grinned a little too much over that word, "while Bella did some things around the house and then I picked her up to play, well…to watch my family play some football. Unfortunately, we got caught in a thunderstorm and Bella got soaked." Charlie looked to me and I flipped my damp hair over my shoulder for emphasis.

"I rushed her back here, of course abiding by speed laws." I wanted to snort when he said that but I held it in. For the Cullens speed limits were really speed minimums.

"I didn't want her to be all alone with out you being home yet, but since the weather cleared up I felt it appropriate to take walk close by while she freshened up. I picked these for you, Bella." I felt like I was stuck in a Leave it to Beaver re-run, and my boyfriend was Eddie Haskell. Sweet and charming to the adult father, after he almost ravished the daughter.

Charlie eyed me to find some hole in the story but I stood there determined to look blameless. I was sure that Charlie could see it all. No one could be as innocent as Edward was portraying now. Surely he would know that we were covering up things that Charlie probably had nightmares over. Poor Eddie Haskell always had his comeuppance after all.

"Alright." Charlie finally sighed out and started down stairs. I looked at Edward displaying the surprise that my father had believed everything on my face. Before he made it to the end of the staircase a thought hit me.

"Hey Dad? Where were you? I made dinner and left it in refrigerator for you before I left. Did you eat it?" If he was going to give me the fifth degree then I was going to return the same treatment.

"I, uh, went down to see Billy. Sue Clearwater was there and, uh…just lost track of time." He replied and then plopped himself into his recliner.

"Bella, I'm going to put these in some water and go home." He said waving with the wild flowers.

"Okay." I started downstairs and Edward gave me a look as if I shouldn't do what I was about ready to do. I landed on the last step smiling at him showing him I was going to do what I wanted. I kissed him. We both heard the very irritated groan of my father.

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella." He smiled despite himself, and then turned to the kitchen to take care of the flowers. I headed up to the shower.

I took off the robe and peeled off my jeans that had dried onto my skin. I started to think about the last time I had disrobed, and that had just been a few minutes ago…with Edward. I found myself blushing and as I glanced in the mirror I saw that it wasn't restricted to my face. I stood there with my bra and underwear on and I tried to see Edward as he saw me. I couldn't find what he found so attractive, although I did try to consol myself with the idea that I had seen my body everyday for almost nineteen years. He was just getting used to it. Maybe there was something to be said about being happy with seeing something new and different, not necessarily beautiful.

I stripped down finally and got into the shower. I started to think if Edward had ever seen a naked woman before. Of course he had to have. He was a mind reader for God sakes. Who knows what he had seen! I felt myself gulp down even more insecurity because I started to wonder if he compared me to the images he had seen of other women. I looked down my body as if I was about to see my body for the first time as well.

The first thing in my way of vision was my chest. I couldn't understand why he wanted to see or touch my breasts. All I knew was that I wanted him to. I laughed out loud thinking how silly this all seemed.

It was strange how sex one moment could seem like the most natural and unavoidable thing in the world. The thought and desire of it could consume me whole with just one smoldering look from Edward. But then as the same time it seemed like such an odd thing to want to do. I suddenly felt like a child thinking something was yucky. I laughed again at my naivety and inexperience.

After I was done showering I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself. The bathroom was fogged up including the mirror. I started thinking that I was going to be a wife soon. I swallowed hard. A wife. I was going to be having sex. I didn't even think that we would not be able to. I knew Edward was capable of the kind of control he would need, and I knew that I could practice any kind of control he asked of me.

If that was happening in a few weeks I realized that I was going to have to grow up a little bit. Sure, I had identified that I wanted to make love with Edward. I had agreed to get married to him. I had agreed, or should I say begged, to become a vampire. I had a lot of adult things happening that I had never encountered before, and here I was afraid to even look at my own naked body. How the hell was I going to handle him looking at me in the nude? I tried to resurrect the feeling I had when we were in my room and he took my jacket off. I had felt liberated and comfortable. The humiliation and modesty I was sure would be present never showed up.

I put my hand against the fogged up mirror and closed my eyes. I dragged my hand across the reflective glass till I hit the counter. I dropped my towel and slowly reopened my eyes. I fought to keep the confidence I was trying to remember. It was like a wave. It would be there and then it would draw back. I struggled to feel like I deserved to be seen by Edward. I wanted to be perfect for him just like he was for me.

I started taking inventory of the things I did like. I liked how square and petite my shoulders were. You could say they were even womanly. I moved to my collarbone then. The bones were not protruding out like a super skinny model but they were present and a nice shape. I trailed my fingers across it and appreciated that it had a certain grace to it. I looked over my arms and I thought they were a little too thin for my liking, but they weren't terrible. I didn't like however how my elbow stuck out too far.

I gazed at my hands, especially my left one that held Edward's ring. My finger had been the perfect size for it. I wonder if Edward had made sure that ring was my size so it fit perfectly or if it was a miracle that his mother's hands were the same size as mine. I noted that my fingers looked maybe little elegant. The only issue was that I couldn't seem to keep my finger nails perfectly manicured. I wished I could have nails like Alice or Rosalie. I smiled to myself thinking that perhaps soon I would.

I skipped my chest altogether because it seemed really peculiar to admire my own breasts. I saw that my waist and hips made a small hourglass shape. It wasn't as pronounced as most women's were but it was there. I thanked whatever creating power allowed me that feminine feature. I looked up to my face. The face. I didn't even have to think about making a frown.

There were the dirty brown eyes and the funny looking nose. Then there was the too white skin and the damning red blush. I grazed my lips with the tips of my fingers. At least I knew this was one thing that Edward really enjoyed. An involuntary smile came to my face then just thinking about him and his kissing. I was lost for a moment in thinking about him and all the wonderful things we were doing just before Charlie came. What terrible timing! I found myself looking into my eyes as I thought,

_What would have happened if he hadn't come home?_

I took a deep breath and decided not worry about it. Before I reached down to retrieve my towel I put a serious expression on my face as if I was about to give someone a really important lecture.

"Okay. Look you!" I whispered as I pointed to my reflection. "Edward loves you. He thinks you are pretty." It was like the pep talk with myself that I never thought I would be pathetic enough to really have.

"You are pretty…I think." I bit my lip. How could I be unsure about myself to myself? I was annoying the crap out me. So I gave a sigh at the epic fail that was my confidence and grabbed my towel again.

It was then that I noticed that I stupidly forgot to grab my change of clothes before going into the shower. I closed my eyes and smacked my forehead.

"Idiot! Seriously Bella, can you do anything right?" I reprimanded myself. I just had to hope that Charlie was still downstairs and entranced with Sports Center. I peeked out of the door and waited a good few moments before clumsily sprinting to my bedroom. I opened and shut the door as quickly as possible, putting my back up against it. A startled gasp slipped out of my mouth.

"Edward!" His eyes shot up to me. He had been sitting on my bed with his head in his hands, but now he was staring at me. And my stupid towel.


	19. Towels, Insecurity, & Joe Montana

**Okay…so I don't suck so much right now!! And it's a pretty long chapter!! Celebrate!!**

**Okay I kinda got a request…sort of…I think **

**From Maddy:**

_**One thing I've always thought there should be more of was Bella taking care of Edward, which is not too likely physically, but at least comforting him... or asking about his past and finding more about what makes him the man he is right now. **_

**I'm unsure if that was really a request but I have taken it as such and decided to play on it. I had planned on going into Edward's past just a tiny bit. That will be later. **

**The one thing I wanted to play on since the beginning is Edward's conflicting emotions over their physical relationship. I mean there are a couple of times in Breaking Dawn when you can tell before they you know…do it…LOLOL…I'm so stupid…..that he is really vulnerable about it. **

**I mean obviously he wants to do it, but he is really afraid and insecure about his ability to. I think this foreshadows why he is so upset the morning after. It wasn't just because he hurt her. He thought at first he had ruined her last experience. Sad…pass the tissues please. **

**I mean every guy does that whole "Oh I don't know if I can please her. It's my first time having sex and surely I'll screw it up." He has to deal with, " OH I really don't know if I can please her because its my first time and I have been holding out for over a hundred years and plus I don't know if I will kill her in a fit of passion." So…PRESSURE MUCH??**

**So my opinion was that Edward really wanted to give this experience to Bella and that Edward really wanted it to. I am usually not sympathetic to Bella on this subject but I think I get a little bit into why…well I think why she needs this from Edward. I don't think she's ever had the reassurance or a true show of love in many ways. I mean she is practically her parents' parent. Edward is about Bella 24/7. If you have never had that…I could see if you got a tad bit addicted or obsessed with it. **

**Okay, I will be going into more of Edward's past in upcoming chapters so be on the look out for that, and Maddy I hope this constitutes as comfort for poor old anxiety-filled virgin Edward. **

**So let's all be honest before we start…I don't harass for Reviews. I don't hold out on chapters because of it, I have other legit reasons for not posting. **

**And I know that this story has an astounding amount of traffic. So if you are reading…Be a doll and give me a review, a request, a suggestion, or "Hell Yeah, Edward's Shirt Off!!" LOL. **

**Reviewing is like getting cookies on a Sunday morning baked by my beloved Mema. I miss her....Dammit…pass the tissues again!!**

**Check me out YouTube under JackieOrioncat and check out my fan fiction faves…You will find gold there!!**

**I own nothing from Twilight! Stephenie Meyer is the God of that universe and I am her minion. **

I felt pinned down by his eyes. At first when he looked up I could see an internal struggle that he had been mourning over before I entered the room. Slowly his eyes traveled the length of my body and I saw the change in his thinking instantly. Edward rarely actually allowed his eyes such a gesture of obvious attraction. When he gulped down as if trying to get his bearings back my heart stopped and then skipped along at a faltering pattern.

"I left my clothes in here." I blurted out.

I felt like I needed to explain myself since it was not in habit for me to traipse around in nothing but a bath towel. Modesty was my policy and this incident was clearly not in line with that. On top of that surprising him with my show of skin wasn't really nice when I'm sure I had met my quota of practicing encounters. I never wanted to make his struggle with control any more difficult than what it was.

A small smile came to his lips at my outburst, but it didn't reach the depths of his eyes. I might have awakened his desire for me being only wrapped with a towel, but there was something he was thinking about that was upsetting him. I studied him closely seeing that the Edward that had been in my room earlier was not the same one sitting on my bed as if he was on death row.

I immediately moved towards him not caring if I had a towel on so I could comfort him. He sat straight up and put his hand up to stop my progression. His breathing stilted and he looked away from me. He closed his eyes and took a moment to catch the breath he didn't need.

"I think it would be prudent for you to…to…" His eyes drifted back to the stupid towel and my bare legs peeking out.

"Right. Better to change." I said resolutely.

Perhaps if I was my old self I would have tried to make this into a limit pushing session, but I felt there was plenty of limits that were tested today. I thought it went well. I felt very positive about our progression, but I was very nervous that Edward did not see it that way. I was incredibly frightened that he regretted it. That fact alone shut off any idea of pleasurable physical activity. I grabbed my pajamas out of the drawer.

"Uh, I'm going to go back to the bathroom to change. I have to get my other clothes too." I said lowly as I moved towards to the door.

"I can get your things while you change in here." He volunteered as he stood from the bed.

"No!" I exclaimed as quietly as I could.

I did not want to Edward having to pick up my dirty clothes. They were not only the jeans…but my bra and underwear. God, I was so out of it today. Only Edward and all his glory could put me in such a forgetful state.

"I mean its okay. I will just get it." I opened the door and clutched the pajamas to my chest as I held the towel together.

"Could you tell me if Charlie is going to come up any time soon?" I whispered to him as I conducted surveillance to the hallway and top of the stairs.

"He's not coming up for another twenty minutes. ESPN is doing a special on Joe Montana?" He sounded amused.

"Huh? Who's that?" I looked back to him as I caught him looking at my bare calves. His eyes darted back up to mine.

"No one you would know." He chuckled lightly. I wasn't sure if did it because of the fact I didn't know who Joe Montana was, or that I had caught him ogling me.

"Go ahead. You're fine." He urged to go get dressed again. I gave him a smile to hopefully cheer up, and he returned it.

When I made it to the bathroom I threw my clothes on and bent down to gather the dirty ones. When I straightened out I glanced at the mirror thinking of my little pep talk. Then I realized that if Edward had been in my room long enough he probably had heard the whole conversation…with myself.

Oh God! I dropped the clothes and looked up to see my horrified expression in the mirror. I tried to calm myself. Maybe he hadn't heard. I **was** whispering. But, crap, wait! He's a freaking vampire!! Damn his heighten vampire senses! I wondered if he could smell fear because it was pretty present at the moment.

I pulled myself together and once more tried to access the confidence I had earlier. Why couldn't emotions have a switch system? Why did I have to be so damn sensitive about everything? We were getting married! We would be together for the rest of our existences! Eternity! All time! Forever! He would have to hear at some point me talking stupidly to myself or have to handle my under garments. I blew out my insecurity for the hundredth time, picked up my clothes, and marched into my room as if I was perfectly normal…or at least close enough to it.

He was standing in front my window looking out into the night. His hand was against the wall and I could see how tense he was. I threw the dirty clothes in the hamper. I hugged him from behind and he sighed heavily as if relieved. I felt his body relax very slowly, muscle by muscle. We breathed together in synchronization for awhile not saying anything. I waited for several minutes before I moved in front of him and against the window. His eyes averted from the dark and he looked to me.

He looked like he was going to smile but then he frowned. His brow was furrowed and he opened his mouth a few times as if he was going to say something but couldn't. I waited again trying not to pull anything out of him violently. Whatever was bothering him I knew he would tell me. If he wasn't going to tell me then he wouldn't have been on my bed waiting for me and in obvious distress. He would have hid it and pretended otherwise.

His hand left the wall and he trailed his smooth fingers down my face. He ran his finger tips along my lips just like I had in the bathroom. He then finally allowed his lips to lift. His other hand came up to touch the other side of my face.

"Bella…You _**are**_ beautiful. Not pretty. Beautiful." I looked down now knowing my fear was confirmed. I felt my blush creep up on me like a wave of fire. He lifted my chin to look at him once more.

"I wish you saw what I see." His lament was not lost on me.

I knew it must be difficult for him for me to constantly doubt myself and him in the process. Whenever he called me beautiful or anything positive about me, I rejected it. Therefore I was calling him a liar essentially because I was saying I didn't believe what he was seeing. I felt like such a child. I knew that confidence was not something that was gained over night. It was something that was built upon.

Now that I knew that, I felt like I had formed a little confidence since meeting Edward. And even when Edward left, although I hated to think about it, I developed a type of confidence then as well. Perhaps even strength. In the last two years with and without Edward's help I had changed and grown up.

"I am trying. Really I am. It's not going to be instant though. I think I'm better than I used to be." I tried to defend myself.

It was true that I didn't see what he saw, but it wasn't that I didn't see anything. I swallowed thinking about all I had said in the bathroom. I couldn't remember everything, and I was unsure how much he had been able to hear.

"How much did you hear? In the bathroom?" I asked quietly. His hands left my face and settled on my waist.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to eavesdrop." He apologized quickly. I held up my hands.

"Its okay, Edward. I'm sure you will hear me often slipping into psychotic tendencies such as talking to myself. Just be worried if I start having imaginary friends." I joked despite my mortification. He chuckled quietly.

"I'll be on the look out for that then." He eyes went to his feet. "I heard you step out of the shower and wipe the mirror off. I guess you stood there for a few minutes."

He didn't say what I'm sure he knew I was doing; looking at my naked form. How embarrassing! I covered my eyes for a moment and a small laugh slipped out.

"Yeah…I was trying to see me as you see me." I dropped my hand to see him smiling softly at me. "Hence the confession of trying."

"And what did you surmise?" His hand moved to the small of my back. The motion brought us closer together and I temporarily was unable to think with his proximity and his scent. I absentmindedly licked my lips.

"I…uh…well…I really like my collarbone." I announced lamely. His smile was the brightest I had seen it that night.

"And?" He encouraged me to divulge more confidence revelations.

"My shoulders are nice, but I don't like my arms." He frowned to hear me say something negative. "But I think my hands are pretty. Especially this one." I held up my left hand that was adorned with his mother's ring. If I could take a picture of the happiness on his face at that moment I would have won every photography award ever made.

I hesitated saying the last thing mostly because his hands were wrapped around said area. He waited smiling as if enjoying a good show. I bit on my lips and his watched intently as if transfixed. He moved toward me slightly bringing him closer to my face.

"Anything else?" There was the smoldering look that made me forget insecurity and switched on someone else inside of me. Maybe emotions did work on a switchboard, and everyone around you were the triggers. I knew what switches Edward controlled.

"I like my waist and hips." I barely whispered.

"Me too." He brought his lips down to mine softly, but for some reason I felt overwhelmed by the sensation despite how gentle it was.

I had often felt how much Edward loved me though his affection, but at that moment it was like a tidal wave slipping me under. No one loved or would love me like Edward did. That was extremely intoxicating and I admit it often made me obsessed with him. I had never experienced such pure love and warmth. My parents hadn't been affectionate people, and I had never had anyone before Edward. He was the first. He would be the last. How could I not be so terribly involved with him and still crave so much more from him?

I understood again why I was consumed with desire for him and why I was insistent upon urging it. I felt everything he felt for me, every reason he loved me though his lips, his touch. I had a feeling I had the same effect on him. I wanted to feel like that with out limits or worries or parental interruptions.

It was then that I remembered that Edward had been upset when I had entered the room. I knew it must be because of us getting interrupted by Charlie. I didn't want him to feel like he couldn't tell me or that he thought I didn't care. I kissed him a little longer and then tenderly pulled away. His confusion was apparent. I hardly ever stopped our kissing.

"Is something wrong?" He questioned with concern. I nodded.

"Yeah. I want to know why you were so upset." I said out right. I had waited for him to talk about it, and now I would ask him. I then felt compelled to amend the request.

"Only if you want to, Edward. I just…I want to be there for you. I love you." I traced his face and then his neck as he averted his eyes from me. I felt bad because I didn't know if I was distracting him before in a good way from his issue, and now I was bringing something up he didn't want to think about.

"Are you ready for bed?" His eyes pleaded me with me but I didn't know for what exactly. I nodded up and down.

He took my hand and we settled on the bed. I lay down as he took off his shoes. When he lay down he wrapped me up in his arms and breathed out like he hadn't touched me in a long time. I rubbed his back trying to comfort him with my touch.

"I think today was…a little…out of control." He whispered softly. After he said that we heard Charlie march up the stairs. He must have been really tired because he didn't check in on me or even stop by my door. He went straight into his bedroom, closing the door.

I continued to rub his back as I wondered if he had said that because he could hear Charlie's thoughts and I couldn't. What would it be like to be in the mind of a father to a teenage girl? What was it like in my father's mind?

I really didn't want Edward to start thinking about our relationship from a parent's point of view. Then he would start acting annoyingly protective and restrictive as before. I pushed out the negative thinking from my mind remembering that just like I had grown so had Edward over the last two years.

"Edward, why are you saying that? I don't feel like we did anything wrong." I didn't want to cry but still it lingered there. Fear of rejection and insecurity truly were the demons in my life. At least I had my angel to help chase them away.

I was happy with how close and abandoned we were, but I had to check myself. Edward had a reason he felt this way and I'm sure it had something to do with his insecurity of being able to control himself.

"It's not that, love. I don't feel like what we did was wrong either. It was probably the best moment of my life so far." His happy expression just thinking about it made me feel better.

"It was just…too fast. I should have stopped, but I couldn't." He pulled my face up to look at him. He brushed my hair out of my face.

"You make me feel so…human." He had a rueful smile.

"I'll take that as a compliment." I replied with a smug grin.

"As you should. I didn't even hear your father approaching! That is a feat, if not miserably inconvenient for trying not to get busted by your father." We both laughed.

"You know, I'm really not trying to get arrested again." He said mysteriously. I looked at him curious.

"Again?" He smiled as if he had let something slip from the past that I was still mostly in the dark about.

"Another night, Bella." He laughed again.

We relaxed into silence again. I continued to run my hand up and down his back and he started to do the same. It was strange how different our touches were from this evening and how they were both satisfying. Finally he let out a big breath ready to talk again.

"The issue is that…when I feel that way…so inhibited, I feel like I could do anything. I can't. I just can't." He closed his eyes. I could feel his pain. He was afraid.

"What you want from me I want to give to you, but I don't know if I can. I will try, I promised." His eyes took on a sad determination. "It's not just because I promised either. I want to make you happy, and I want to make love to you…more than anything." I hugged him putting my face against his chest. He shuddered out a few breaths.

"Bella, I despise disappointing you. If I could I never would. I don't want this to be another disappointment." I hugged him as tight as I could knowing I couldn't hurt him with the pressure, but I hoped he felt the intensity of my embrace.

"Edward, I knew that things might get…difficult at times. I mean we aren't a normal couple and we have to deal with things other people don't even think about it. I just want to try. I will take anything I can get and I will see it as a miracle." I lifted my head and scooted myself up the bed to his eye level. His eyes were closed. I held his face in my hands.

"I don't have any expectations if you think that you are not going to please me or something. I just want to be with you." His eyes were still shut off to me.

"Edward, please look at me." His eyelids slowly opened to reveal the gold eyes I had loved for what felt like a lifetime. I thought to myself, "I will love them for many lifetimes."

"I really want it to all work out. I don't want to ruin it for you and I can't even think if I possibly hurt you in anyway." He said so low I could barely hear him.

"I know. I want it to work out too." I wanted him so badly to see how much faith and trust I gave him. I wanted him to see how much love I had for him.

"I just don't know…" He trailed off.

"I know you can do this even if you don't. I'm not afraid and I believe in you." I ran my hands through his hair. "I wish you saw what I see." I borrowed his words from earlier.

"I see it in your eyes." He kissed me and I moved even closer to him.

"See it with your own eyes." I kissed his eye lids and he smiled.

"Will you see yourself clearly with your own eyes as well?" He challenged me gently.

"One day." I replied honestly.

I couldn't say I would always feel this way. I hoped I would find confidence while I was human for the short remaining time I had, but I believed I would feel better as a vampire.

"What about you?" I volleyed back. His smiled was bright when he answered.

"One day."


End file.
